[TF] Scars of Yesterday - 19

[dracoqueen22]

Scars of Yesterday
Chapter Nineteen

Soundwave wasn’t sure what to expect after his return from the forest, especially between himself, Sideswipe, and Sunstreaker. He thought there might be discomfort, friction, possibly distance between himself and then.

He certainly wasn’t expecting… this.

He thought once his arm healed enough that the sling could be removed – only a few days after the initial injury – things would go back to normal. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker would return to the privacy of their nook, and their own personal interests, rather than sticking close. No more would he spend nearly every meal with them, or have their company in the baths.

He was wrong.

Sure, they backed off on the nannying once it was clear Soundwave was capable of taking care of himself. They still brought him meals, but it was no more than what efforts his own siblings already offered. They put themselves into the rotation, and joined Soundwave’s family for every meal, often with Soundwave between them.

Not a single sibling protested. Not even Buzzsaw, which in itself was an oddity.

Which wasn’t to say Sideswipe and Sunstreaker spent every waking moment with Soundwave either. They hadn’t abandoned their own pursuits. Sunstreaker still visited Mirage and Tracks for his artistic lessons. Sideswipe convinced any warrior he could for fighting lessons, though he favored Drift and swordwork, once Perceptor and Drift’s heats had concluded.

They both volunteered to Gather, or clean up after meals, and Sunstreaker had started reading to the little ones in the nursery before their naptimes. Sideswipe volunteered to take a few guard shifts in the Aerie interior.

But they made time for Soundwave, too.

Sunstreaker would take up a perch nearby and sketch when Soundwave was working, whether in the nest or in the office. Sideswipe tagged along when Soundwave went on his rounds throughout the aerie, often with paper and quill in hand, taking notes when usually one of his siblings would take on the duty.

Sunstreaker showed up when he felt Soundwave spent too long working and dragged him to the springs for an in-depth cleaning that left Soundwave’s feathers gleaming on the daily. Or so he was told. Frenzy and Rumble took great pleasure in teasing him over how shiny he was now.

If they weren’t careful, Soundwave would have Sunstreaker tackle them next. He warned them of it, and that shut both of them up real fast.

A week passed like this.

Soundwave healed. He shared his meals. He shared quiet moments with the twins, and conversational moments with them as well. Occasionally, they would rest a hand on his arm, or press a gentle, chaste kiss to his cheek. They only slept in their nook one night out of the seven, the others they spent in the family nest, curled around Soundwave, Sunstreaker always at his back, and Sideswipe pressed to his front.

Soundwave worked, and one of the twins accompanied him. Sunstreaker was quiet, sketching and occasionally asking questions.

He favored hearing about the other Aeries. Soundwave was the unofficial keeper of knowledge about the other cultures, given all the investigating he’d done, and the stories he’d amassed from everyone who came to Kaon and stayed.

It might be time to invest in assigning someone to be the official historian, come to think of it. Once mating season was fully complete, and they knew who was with egg and who wasn’t, he would look into it.

For now, he told Sunstreaker all he could. He suspected Sunstreaker wanted to know where he and Sideswipe might have been born. Sideswipe was mostly indifferent to their origins, but there was an ache in Sunstreaker’s voice whenever he tentatively asked about Vos or Crystal City or Protihex.

Soundwave himself suspected they had been born in either Tarn, an exceedingly religious flock which treated twins as abominations and executed them if they mated one another, or Stanix, an Aerie known for its adherence to flock purity. Perhaps they’d been sold by desperate parents while still in the egg. Or been abandoned to the wilderness by a devout Stanixite and found by the humans known to lurk at the Stanix borders for precisely this reason.

Or perhaps they’d never had a flock at all and had been born in captivity. The harpies they rescued, and quite a few offhand comments made by Sideswipe, convinced Soundwave that the humans had no problems trying to breed their captives.

Soundwave did not tell either of them of his suspicions. He saw little use in theorizing aloud. If he had concrete answers, he would offer them. For now, there was no point in causing unnecessary pain.

They were here in Kaon now. They were with friends, harpies who loved them, who wanted them. What did the past matter? He hoped Sunstreaker would understand that someday, though Soundwave understood the pain of being potentially abandoned or sold was not one easily forgotten.

So he answered Sunstreaker's questions, but kept his suspicions to himself. He told Sunstreaker of Praxus and Crystal City and Polyhex. He talked about his own flock, why they'd left, and talked of the other harpies in Kaon, those who'd given permission to share their stories. He talked as much as his throat would allow, and when it protested, they sat in a comfortable silence.

Sideswipe spent time in the office with Soundwave as well, though he was more likely to sit right next to Soundwave and help him with paperwork. He also talked far more than his twin, often as though he didn't expect a response, like he was used to filling the quiet with chatter.

"How many babies do you think we'll have after mating season?" Sideswipe asked.

"Hatchlings," Soundwave gently reminded him. Sideswipe lapsed into human language and terminology more frequently than Sunstreaker did. "Three or four at most. If lucky."

"That few? Guess we don't really spit 'em out like humans, huh?" Sideswipe fairly hummed with thoughts, like he was constantly working out any number of things at the back of his mind. "I mean, is that low number normal?"

"Typical for Kaon's population size," Soundwave replied. There were perhaps six or seven mated pairs actively trying for hatchlings this year. Not all would be successful, and there were always accidents.

Sometimes the suppressants did not take as well as a healer hoped. Either the herbs were less effective, or the harpy's biological imperatives were too strong. Some were more fertile than others. Soundwave had seen it happen before, though not in Kaon.

"Oh," Sideswipe said, and rustled a few papers around as if only pretending to do work due to his distraction. "The humans always complained because none of us got pregnant as much as they wanted."

A sharp throb gripped Soundwave's core, but he swallowed it. "Distressed harpies are less fertile," he answered quietly.

"Makes sense. Though sometimes they got lucky," Sideswipe said and hastily added, "Never with Sunny and me though. Not that it stopped them from trying."

Soundwave had to pause to breathe through the anger, to resist the urge to abruptly pull Sideswipe into his arms and smother him with affection to soothe his own hurt. Sideswipe stated it so matter of fact, as if it was a truth that no longer ached. Soundwave could only hurt for him.

He also didn't sound disappointed. There was no wave of regret surrounding him. Just a point of fact.

"Hatchlings desired?" Soundwave asked.

"Us?" Sideswipe asked, sounding startled. "I don't know. I don't think we ever talked about it except to know we didn't want any back then, you know."

Soundwave swallowed around another lump. "And now?"

"Hmmm." Sideswipe's quill scratched over the parchment as contemplation hummed around him. "Nah. I mean, Sunny likes the littles, but he's never said he wants one, and I know I don't. Don't wanna carry, don't wanna keep one." He paused and asked, hesitating, "What about you?"

Soundwave shook his head. "Negative. Siblings enough hatchlings for me."

Sideswipe barked a laugh. "I'll bet. You've got a pretty big family already." He leaned in, shoulder pressing gently to Soundwave's. "Looks like we all have the same idea, huh?"

Soundwave hummed agreement. "Though adoption possible if needed."

"Yeah. If there's a bit out there who needs a home, I wouldn't say no," Sideswipe said as his quill started working again. "Sunstreaker would probably run us both over to adopt them. We, uh, don't like the idea of little ones having no one to care for them."

Not like us.

Sideswipe didn't say it, but Soundwave heard the unspoken nonetheless.

"Agreed," Soundwave said, and that was enough of serious conversation because Sideswipe then turned the topic toward all the new foods he'd tasted lately and how he'd rate them on a scale from 'yuck' to 'yum'.

Time passed. Soundwave healed further, and then no more was he confined to the sling, though Ratchet -- haggard but no longer under the impulse of his heat cycle -- informed him he was not to attempt flying yet.

Another week, he said, which was fine with Soundwave. He didn't fly nearly as much as the rest of the harpies in the flock. He'd grown used to how little time he could spend in the air.

Besides, there was far too much work to do on the ground, here in the Aerie. Mating season passed, but many were slow to emerge from their nests and reassume their duties. This was not unexpected, and plans were in place to make up for their absence.

It left Soundwave busier than ever, but never alone. Where he always had a sibling within arm's reach, now there was also Sideswipe or Sunstreaker or both. Chatting. Carrying items. Warning him of unexpected tripping hazards in the walkway.

It was not at all what Soundwave expected.

But he also couldn't say he minded.

~

Their plan was going perfectly.

Sideswipe couldn't be more pleased. He was a bit skeptical of Mirage and Tracks' advice at first, but he had to admit, they were right. Soundwave was much more amenable to being wooed, even if he didn't realize that's what they were doing.

Maybe now he'd finally believe them when they sat him down and tried to talk again. Especially since the aerie was slowly, but surely, getting back to normal. There were more harpies out of their nests, returning to their duties, the stench of rut fading from the air, and windows being unshuttered to let in the fresh spring breezes.

More to the point, the various cooks and bakers were among those who had emerged from their nests and got back to work. They finally had warm and fresh-cooked meals again, and Sideswipe was especially excited. Sure, he liked baskets of fresh fruit and veggies and pre-baked goods like the next harpy, but he was ready for hot meals again.

Sunstreaker told him he was getting soft. Sideswipe rolled his eyes.

If this was getting soft, Sideswipe would gladly take it.

Anyway, this meant they could finally sit down for a proper meal, and Sideswipe eagerly dragged both Sunstreaker and Soundwave with him for a hot, midday lunch. Word had it they were serving an all veggie pie of some kind, plus some roast potatoes, and he was drooling just thinking about it.

The atmosphere was lively, or as lively as it could be with most of those present exhausted from their rutting. It was the most crowded Sideswipe had seen in weeks, and he grinned as he soaked up the sounds of an aerie getting back to the usual activity. He hadn’t realized how much the calm and quiet bothered him until things started normalizing.

Soundwave was eating quietly on one side of him, maskless but still visored up, and Sunstreaker was on the other side of Soundwave, idly gnawing on a hunk of bread as he feverishly sketched something that had caught his eye earlier today. Frenzy and Rumble scrapped on the other side of the table, over a mini blackberry pie despite the fact there were several more available.

Buzzsaw had taken Soundwave’s shoulder, so Laserbeak sulked by perching on Sunstreaker’s shoulder, and now Buzzsaw was sulking because Laserbeak was sulking. Ravage sat on the other side of Frenzy and Rumble, pretending he had no idea who anyone in this circus was. Sideswipe couldn’t help but smile.

This madness was his family.

“Ahem.”

Sideswipe startled and twisted to look over his shoulder, his eyes widening. Liege Megatron stood just behind them, a dash of amusement on his lips with Rodimus hanging from his arm looking like the cat who caught the canary. He was absolutely wrecked with bites on his throat, but given how he kept lifting his chin up, Rodimus was proud of it.

“All is well,” Soundwave said without turning around, but Sunstreaker put down his charcoal and glanced at Sideswipe, exchanging a question without speaking aloud.

“I know it is. I have the utmost faith in everyone around me,” Megatron said, attempting to tuck his hands behind his back in a stately manner. Rodimus would not have it, however, and tugged Megatron’s arm around him anyway.

He kept grinning. It was kind of creepy.

“Two whole weeks, huh?” Sideswipe asked, because he couldn’t resist.

Rodimus beamed. “Two glorious weeks,” he purred with an exaggerated wink as Megatron sighed and palmed his face.

“I am attempting to have a serious conversation,” Liege Megatron said.

“This is serious business,” Sideswipe replied cheekily, leaning back against the table as though he hadn’t a care in the world. Anything to hide how nervous Megatron made him.

He was too fragging big. Not the biggest in Kaon by any means, but there was a presence about him that made him bigger. Sideswipe never let himself forget that Megatron was the one in charge around here, and if he said it, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker would be out on their tailfeathers faster than they could blink.

Rodimus chuckled and snuggled into Megatron’s side as if the last two weeks of rutting themselves silly hadn’t been enough. “Find me later, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

“You will not,” Megatron growled.

“Other matter to address?” Soundwave asked, finally turning to acknowledge Megatron and unsettling Buzzsaw on his shoulder, who flailed to recapture his balance.

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Megatron said as Rodimus beamed up at him in false humility.

Sideswipe made a mental note to seek out Rodimus later, because if the other harpy was willing to dish the good gossip, then Sideswipe wanted to hear it. He and Sunstreaker both needed to make more friends around the aerie since they planned to stay.

“I, and many others, are of the opinion that Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are fully capable of taking care of themselves and no longer have need of an official guardian,” Megatron said with an air of authority.

Sideswipe blinked and stopped making faces at Rodimus. He stared up at Megatron with surprise. “Wait,” he said.

“What does that mean?” Sunstreaker asked.

“It means that you are free to do as you wish in Kaon,” Megatron said, gesturing with his free hand. “Not that you weren’t before, but now you no longer need to consider Soundwave your guardian. Neither does Soundwave need to consider himself responsible for you. Any choices you make from here on out are your responsibility… as are any consequences.”

“He means don’t start misbehaving now that Soundwave isn’t gonna take the blame,” Frenzy pointed out around a mouthful of blackberry pie. Apparently, he won the scrap.

Sideswipe’s jaw dropped. “Wait, if we did something wrong before…”

“It would have been up to Soundwave to teach you why and help you understand the harm you caused, yes,” Megatron said with a nod of his head. “Not that it was ever relevant. Truthfully, the guardianship was more to protect you from us rather than the other way around.”

“Give you time to get comfortable here and have someone to ask all the questions you want,” Laserbeak said from Sunstreaker’s shoulder, swinging her legs. “That sort of thing.”

Sideswipe exchanged another glance with Sunstreaker who nodded. “So,” he started with a casual lean back against the table, “if there was someone we were interested in and wanted to court them or something, we could do that now?”

“You could have done that before,” Megatron pointed out, head cocked to the side as if confused. “I apologize if that wasn’t clear.”

“No, no, I mean a specific someone,” Sideswipe said with emphasis. He didn’t look at Soundwave, but he might have leaned a bit closer to him as Soundwave promptly found his meal far more interesting than the conversation.

He was adorably shy and Sideswipe didn’t think he’d ever get over that.

Rodimus squeaked and clapped his hand over his own mouth, eyes wide. Megatron’s eyes narrowed, however, and he glanced around the table.

“You are free to pursue a relationship with anyone who returns your interest,” Megatron said slowly, as if he were carefully choosing his words. “You have your own space, your own friends, and your own duties. You are adults, therefore, any decisions you make are of your own accord.”

There. Permission. Sideswipe didn’t think it could get any clearer unless Megatron took Soundwave’s hands and said in no uncertain terms: Soundwave you are allowed to date Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. But then Soundwave might combust of embarrassment on the spot, and Sideswipe would never get to properly kiss him.

“Good to know,” Sideswipe chirped. He promptly turned back toward lunch, though his appetite was gone in the wake of excitement squirming in his belly.

“We appreciate the clarification,” Sunstreaker said, much more politely.

“You’re welcome.” Megatron lingered for a few moments more until Rodimus tugged on his arm and said, “Hungry,” in an exaggerated tone.

Sideswipe chuckled quietly. He supposed if someone like Rodimus had Megatron wrapped around his finger, Megatron couldn’t be that frightening. Clearly, Rodimus was the one with all the power there.

“I’ll leave you all to your meal,” Megatron said. “Soundwave, when you have a moment and I’m free of this burr, I’d like to go over any concerns that might have arisen in the past two weeks.”

“Who’re you calling a burr?” Rodimus demanded, indignant.

Megatron raised two feathery eyebrows, but then he brushed a knuckle over the prominent bite mark front and center on Rodimus’ throat, and Rodimus’ eyes went half-lidded. He purred throatily, leaning into the touch.

“Maybe you two should go back to the nest, boss,” Frenzy said with a laugh. “Just saying.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” Rodimus said.

“I have work to do,” Megatron hedged, but there was heat in his eyes, and Sideswipe swore he could still smell the rut on them.

Sheesh. Not even he and Sunny were that bad. But then, he’d been with Sunstreaker all his life, and from what Sideswipe had heard, Megatron and Rodimus had only officially been together a year? Not even that. This was technically their first rut together.

“It can wait,” Soundwave said, as though giving them permission. “Meet tomorrow.”

Megatron nodded. “Yes, we’ll meet up tomorrow.”

“That means I get you for another day,” Rodimus said gleefully, and spun them around, tugging Megatron back toward the door.

"Tomorrow," Megatron agreed, but it was over his shoulder as he marched out the door on Rodimus' heels.

Sideswipe grinned, but it was Frenzy and Rumble who burst into amused giggles while Laserbeak sighed and said, "They're so sweet. I'm glad they finally got together."

"Nauseating," Buzzsaw grumbled from Soundwave's shoulder and bit viciously into a plain waffle as if it offended him.

"It must be exciting to finally be on your own," Ravage said, something pointed in his tone, though he didn't look at any of them. "You're free to make all your own choices."

"Yes, we are," Sideswipe said with a glance behind Soundwave's back at his twin. "Think of all the trouble we can get into now."

"It's always good to have permission," Laserbeak said, and she didn't bother to be subtle about the way she stared at Soundwave.

"There is work to be done," Soundwave said, standing from the table and nearly unseating Buzzsaw who grabbed at his feathermane to stabilize himself.

"We'll help," Sideswipe was quick to say as he wiped his mouth and stood as well, dropping the cloth napkin into his empty dish. "Right, Sunny?"

His brother blinked at him before understanding dawned. He nodded. "Yes, we'll... help."

"You'll clear the table for us, right?" Sideswipe asked, beaming a smile at Frenzy and Rumble. "Lots of work to do and all that." He waggled his eyebrows, trying to say with his face what he couldn't with his voice.

"Of course!" Laserbeak chirped, hopping off Sunstreaker's shoulder and landing on the table in front of the empty platter. "We're happy to help. Aren't we, Buzzsaw?"

Her twin sighed the kind of gusty sigh Sunstreaker was good at when Sideswipe was vexing him. "Happy to help," he repeated in a monotone and leapt from Soundwave's shoulder.

It was not the least bit convincing.

Sideswipe threaded his arm through Soundwave's and steered him away from the table as Sunstreaker hurried to take Soundwave's other side.

"Do you mind if we swing by the nest first?" Sideswipe asked, the absolute picture of innocence. "There's something I need to grab before we get to work."

"Me, too," Sunstreaker said, sounding guilty as sin. He was not a very good liar unfortunately.

Sideswipe sighed.

Soundwave, however, chuckled. "Lead the way."

~

Neither twin was particularly skilled at subterfuge, and after that rather direct conversation with Megatron, Soundwave could only assume it was a private conversation they were after. Expectation hung in the air between them, and mischief radiated from Sideswipe in waves.

"Balcony?" Sunstreaker suggested as they stepped into the nest. "I think that's where I, um, left it."

Sideswipe chuckled. "Sunny, bro, you suck at this." He squeezed Soundwave's arm and leaned in to nuzzle at his shoulder. "Can we talk for a sec?"

"I assumed this reason," Soundwave said, patting Sideswipe's hand on his arm.

"See? It doesn't matter anyway," Sunstreaker said with a huff. "Come on. Let's sit down."

He tugged, and Soundwave went along with him while Sideswipe muttered under his breath and Soundwave pretended not to hear him.

It was a warm spring day, though the breeze suggested an afternoon shower in their future. There was a damp to the air that curled Soundwave's softer feathers, yet the sun was warm on his face. He sat on the edge of the balcony, legs dangling, and found himself pressed between Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, who took a hand each and threaded their fingers together.

"So," Sunstreaker started, but he trailed off, giving Soundwave's hand a squeeze.

"You heard what Megatron said, right?" Sideswipe asked. "We're free to be with anyone we want to be with."

“We have permission,” Sunstreaker murmured, his voice heavy and aching. “All that’s left is for you to tell us what you want.”

They were right, of course.

Soundwave drew in a careful breath and looked out at the horizon, at the blur of green and blue. He didn’t know why it was so difficult to admit that he wanted them, but despite Megatron’s permission, a part of him still felt as if he should keep his distance.

“It’s okay if you can’t give us an answer right now,” Sideswipe said once the pause had dragged longer than it should. “Megatron did kind of spring that on us. You probably need to think about it.”

“We do have a lot of baggage,” Sunstreaker sighed.

Soundwave squeezed his hand. “Hesitation has nothing to do with either of you.”

“Sure,” Sideswipe said, a note of flippancy in his voice. “But we care about you, all right? We’re genuinely interested in a relationship with you.”

“But if all you want is more family, something chaste and what was the word… platonic?” Sunstreaker said. “That’s okay, too. Just think about it honestly.”

“Without all those ethical worries in the way now,” Sideswipe added.

Soundwave hummed. “Wanting is easy. Accepting…” He bowed his head, eyes closed as a clench of want wrapped around his heart. “I will give it serious thought.”

“That’s all we’re asking,” Sunstreaker said before he let go of Soundwave’s hand and patted him on the arm. “Until you know what you want, we’ll give you space, okay?”

“Understood,” Soundwave murmured.

They leaned in, pressing a kiss to each cheek, before they stood up in tandem. Soundwave’s cheeks tingled with the echo of their kiss.

“Find us when you’re ready,” Sideswipe said.

“We’ll wait as long as it takes,” Sunstreaker added.

Then they were gone, and Soundwave was left on the balcony, a wet breeze ruffling his feathers as the petrichor scent of oncoming rain tickled his senses. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker’s unique scents lingered. He still felt their lips on his cheek.

He could not deny he wanted them.

They had seen him without his masks, and still wanted him in return. They were patiently waiting. The largest hurdle had been overcome. Why did he hesitate?

Soundwave wasn’t sure. Fear perhaps. Romance had never been at the top of his priority list. He’d never ached for someone before. Had never yearned. Missed the quiet intimacy of another perhaps, but he was never without one sibling or another, so he had plenty of warmth and companionship.

He was not like Megatron, who had yearned after Orion Pax when he was meant to be Optimus Prime, for most of his life. He was not like Rodimus – then Hot Rod – who had fallen for Megatron almost immediately. He’d never felt the quiet growing love as between Orion and Shockwave, or the bond Drift and Perceptor shared.

No one in Crystal City had ever captured his attention. Perhaps because most did not know how to interact with him, so they chose not to. Megatron had been his first friend, the first to see beyond Soundwave’s deficits and treat him as a being in his own right. He’d never hesitated to speak to Soundwave, to spar with him, to ask his opinion.

Soundwave was not unaware how others viewed him. Though none would speak aloud, many in Crystal City felt Soundwave should have been euthanized when he was born with pale eyes that saw so little. But his parents loved him, same as they loved Ravage who was also odd, and it had been devastating when they died. Soundwave had taken on raising Ravage himself, rather than let his sibling go to some uncaring family.

Few friends meant there were few Soundwave bothered to know. Perhaps that was why he’d never been interested in anyone romantically. Perhaps not. It was impossible to know for sure. He’d seen the emotions of hundreds of harpies, but none had ever shone as bright to him as Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. They were the most beautiful harpies he’d ever seen for his unique way of seeing.

Soundwave was far more familiar with lust, to a certain extent. The annual rut made it an inevitability, but his fantasies had always carried nameless, faceless lovers. He never thought of anyone’s hands or voice or the vibrant shades of their emotions.

Until Sideswipe and Sunstreaker.

What made them different?

He didn’t know. Did it matter? Perhaps not.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Soundwave exhaled softly, head tilted to acknowledge Ravage’s arrival. “The others?”

“I managed to convince them to give you some space,” Ravage said as he sat beside Soundwave, slouching comfortably, his emotions as unreadable as always.

“Even Laserbeak?”

“She’s a romantic,” Ravage replied with a full-bodied shrug. His tail swished as he squirmed in an attempt to get comfortable. He was not fond of being so high up.

It was not a fear of heights, simply that Ravage had always felt more natural on the ground. He did not like to fly. He preferred to walk.

“She is,” Soundwave agreed. He lapsed into silence and waited.

Ravage had come here with something to say. Soundwave only had to wait.

“I saw them when they left. They didn’t look like two harpies who’d finally snagged a mate,” Ravage said. “Why are you hesitating?”

Soundwave rubbed gently at his shoulder, mostly healed, though aching now as if in response to the oncoming weather. “Many reasons.”

What did he know of romance? Could they truly know what they felt after so short of time? What if they realized they did not need a third in their relationship? What if they realized Soundwave was not what they wanted and abandoned him to seek someone else? What if Soundwave realized it was a mistake and broke their hearts?

What if. What if.

“Any of them a reason not based in fear?” Ravage asked.

Soundwave sighed.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Ravage gently bumped shoulders with him, wisely on his uninjured side. “I’m not going to lie, it’s a risk. But they’re taking one, too.”

“Mmm.” Soundwave removed his visor, let the wind tickle his bare face, the sun luckily hidden by encroaching clouds. “Harrison?”

Ravage huffed a breath. “Fine, I’ll bite. You can make this about me if you want to.” He drew up a leg, braced his arm across it, and Soundwave imagined his feathers were like a spill of black ink, iridescent in the sunlight. “I’ve been trying to decide what I’m going to do about that.”

“It’s a risk,” Soundwave echoed.

“Yes, it is. I think it’s worth it though,” Ravage said, and a ripple of emotion slipped free, a tiny spark of hope blooming in the midst of a quiet yearning where once there had been a loneliness no amount of familial love could fulfill. “Aren’t you ever tired of being alone?”

Up until now, it hadn’t occurred to Soundwave he could be alone. There was Megatron, there was his family, there were his duties around the Aerie. He was too busy to feel alone.

Now, however.

He missed them. When Sunstreaker and Sideswipe weren’t around, he missed them.

He understood Ravage’s stance. While he was not shunned in Kaon, no one really understood him, so it was hard for Ravage to connect to anyone. All he had was his family. This quiet friendship with Harrison could be a blessing even if he were human.

“You’ve spent so long taking care of us, I think it’s about time you let someone else take care of you,” Ravage said after a moment. “Let them love you, Soundwave. And don’t tell me you don’t feel anything for them.”

“It would be a lie,” Soundwave murmured.

Ravage climbed to his feet. “It would.” He gently tapped Soundwave on the shoulder. “Come inside. It’s about to rain, and if you fall ill, I think Ratchet really will kill us.”

As usual, Ravage wasn’t wrong.

Soundwave dutifully went inside, Ravage’s advice running on repeat at the back of his mind. He cared deeply for the twins. He wanted to be with them.

The real question remained.

Was he brave enough to take their hands?

***