[CR] Passing the Torch
Dec. 22nd, 2018 08:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dracoqueen22Title: Passing the Torch
Universe: Critical Role, Campaign Two, Episode 28 Adjacent
Characters: Mollymauk Tealeaf, Caduceus Clay, The Mighty Nein in the background
Rated: K+
Description: Molly isn’t ready to say goodbye. There’s a few things he has to do first, including vetting the new member of the Mighty Nein.
Passing the Torch
There was a tether.
Mollymauk was constantly aware of it, thicker and almost visible when he was close, translucent and thin and wispy the further he ventured from his body and his grave. It gave him a limit, a distance on how far he could travel. He saw the face of the Raven Queen in that tether. He suspected that so long as it didn’t snap, she couldn’t claim him.
Not yet.
Good.
He still had things he needed to do.
It was disorientating at first, waking up without a body, without firmness, gliding through a familiar world but entirely unable to interact with it. He hated it, even more than dying. Being unable to taste or smell or touch. He was an observer alone, and his words went no further than his own ears.
He tried to find the others, once he realized he could go anywhere. Fjord and Jester and Yasha. He honestly tried. But it was too easy to drift away, too easy to get lost. Too easy to forget and drift into memories that weren't his anymore. Safer, then, to stay close to Beau and Caleb and Nott. They needed him, and he couldn’t be there, and it rankled.
He could stay nearby and watch over them. It was a special kind of torture. They gained new allies to help them, and Molly was relieved. Each new ally was another chance for his friends, his family, to stay alive and rescue the others. The dwarf was caustic and the firbolg gentle. They balanced each other out.
It wasn't until they visited a graveyard in the middle of an odd forest did Mollymauk first feel uneasy. There was something ancient about the place, as there always was when it came to houses of the dead, but there was an underlying sickness as well. Something dark and seething. The others didn't seem to notice it, but Molly saw it, like a black, twisted coating of decay. It must not have been on the material plane, because he could touch it and smell it.
Rot, it was. Like something had infected the land, and it was slowly spreading.
Molly shuddered and hoped his companions left this place as soon as possible. The rot tried to seep into his boots and into his body. Like it wanted to claim him. It made the touch of the Raven Queen on his tether falter. And for something to falter the Raven Queen, well, Mollymauk did not want to meet its owner.
They found a house in the middle of the graveyard. There was a firbolg living in the house. He was welcoming, but odd. Mollymauk chuckled. Odd fit very well in the Mighty Nein. They didn't attract boring people, only weird ones. He, too, was gentle in a way. He offered them a place to rest and recover; he offered his assistance.
Molly was really, really fond of his clothing. Perhaps a bit jealous as well. The firbolg had style! This Caduceus Clay did.
More importantly, his home was safe. Whatever sickness had infested the land around it, Caduceus' home exuded a warmth and safety that defeated it. Molly's tether was grew thinner and thinner, but it felt stronger here in this home. The rot couldn't try to claim him.
Mollymauk didn't sleep, in this inbetween state of being dead and not-dead. He spent his restless nights watching over his friends, wishing he could speak to them, his heart squeezing tighter and tighter in his chest. If he even had a heart in this state. He wasn't sure. He felt warm to himself, felt the rise and fall of his chest, watched it puff in the cold air. But he was intangible and inaudible to all else.
It was frustrating.
"They don’t know you’re still watching over them."
Molly stilled. Caduceus had spoken, but no one was awake. There was no need for anyone to keep watch, in this safe place, so they'd all collapsed in exhausted sprawls over many surfaces of Caduceus' home. The firbolg himself was still awake, sitting by the hearth, staring with contemplation into the flames. He sipped at a delicious smelling tea Molly wished he could try for himself. Though it could probably use a splash of something with a bit of a kick to it.
Molly turned.
Caduceus was no longer watching the fireplace, deep in contemplation. He'd looked up and seemed to be staring right in Mollymauk's direction. Which was absurd. No one could see him. He was dead.
"You are twice dead and still you linger," Caduceus said, his voice hushed as though to keep from waking the others. He tilted his head, pink hair sliding into his face. "You must love them very much."
Molly spun in a slow circle, his coat swirling around his legs, but there was no one awake and no one around. "Are you talking to me?"
Point of fact -- they’d left his coat to mark his grave, but here it was, on his shoulders, swishing around his calves. Did he exist in the clothes he preferred to wear? Was that how it worked?
Caduceus chuckled. "Unless there is another lavender tiefling standing behind you, then yes, I am talking to you."
Molly swayed where he stood. "You can see me?" He blinked, shook his head. "You can hear me. Why?"
"You see where I live and it surprises you?" Caduceus laughed again, though it didn't seem to be mocking. He took a sip of his tea, amusement brightening his gentle eyes. "Now, you know who I am, since you have been here, but I haven't had the pleasure of your acquaintance."
Molly moved closer, into the radius of the hearth. He couldn't feel the heat of it, but the flicker of the fire was somehow comforting nonetheless. He could almost pretend he was alive.
"Mollymauk Tealeaf, at your service," he said with an exaggerated bow and a grin. His hair flopped into his eyes before he pushed it off his forehead and straightened. "Former member of the Mighty Nein."
"Current member," Caduceus corrected. "I'm sure your friends will agree. Membership doesn't end with death."
Molly folded his arms and glanced over at the sleeping lumps that were the visible Mighty Nein, a few snores floating out from Nott's direction before Beau rolled over and nudged Nott in her sleep.
"Yeah. They're idiots like that." Affection swelled in his heart. By gods, he wished he could be there. "Are you really going to join them? They're a bunch of assholes, you know."
"I believe your arrival here was fated. It’s time for me to leave." Caduceus leaned back in the chair, his fingers stroking the outside of the teacup. "Lady Melora led your friends to me for a reason. So yes, I am going to join their venture."
Molly nodded slowly. "Good." He drew in a slow, deep breath, though he couldn't taste anything. "That's good." He sucked on his bottom lip, nibbling it. "They need looking after."
"Everyone needs it in some way, your family maybe more than most," Caduceus agreed. "And I will help reunite the two halves." His pleasant expression flickered with distaste. "I don't like slavers."
"Few do." Molly sighed and turned back toward Beau and Caleb and Nott, moving among them without disturbing them. Easy enough to do as he wasn't capable of true touch. "There will be a point someday where they'll go somewhere I can't follow. Even being here strains my tether."
Caduceus hummed, nodding slowly.
It hurt.
Molly didn't want to leave them to someone else, to a stranger. But he had little choice.
He dropped to a knee, brushing an insubstantial hand over Beauregard's shoulder. "Don't be fooled by Beau's exterior. She's a heathen, and she's rude, and she has an attitude, but she's not that bad." He laughed a little to himself. "Don't get me wrong, she's an asshole. We all are. But she's working on it. And she's a softie under all those muscles." He swallowed over a lump in his throat. "She's loyal. And worth it. You just have to remember to keep an eye on her. She tries to hide her injuries and pretend she’s too tough to be in pain sometimes.”
Molly shifted to Beau's other side, where Nott lay sprawled, snuffling rather than snoring, one hand clutched possessively in Caleb's collar. "Nott's a special one," he said. "She's got sticky fingers, but only for the most absurd things. She guards Caleb fiercely, and honestly, it's better just to let her. She's afraid of water, so if you encounter any in the future, good luck. She's got a terribly low opinion of herself, but that just means she fits in with the rest of us."
Molly stood again and moved to the furthest side, where Caleb was coiled in a blanket, his forehead pressed to Nott's back, his face pinched in sleep, probably with some dark dream. Molly had noticed them on occasion, when staying up late for watch. Caleb was a human swallowed by his past, as desperate to escape it as he was frantic to cling to it.
He wished he could tuck the blankets a little tighter around their squishy wizard.
"Caleb will tell you he's a garbage person," Molly said. "And maybe he is, I don't know. We're all garbage people to be fair, and maybe I was, too. Before." Every word started to become a vise around his heart and lungs. "He gets lost in his own head, don't let him get trapped there. Maybe a book or some paper? He likes those. And feed him? He doesn’t eat nearly enough.”
Molly paused, lost in memories for a second, before he dragged himself back to the present. “Don’t be fooled either. Caleb cares, more than he's ready to admit. " Molly choked out a laugh that felt as raw as his insides. "We all do actually. Care, I mean. Only none of us really want to admit it."
Caduceus hummed a soft sound. "That's very nice."
“Isn’t it?” Molly stepped carefully around his sleeping friends, his eyes passing over Nila and Keg. He didn’t know either of them well enough, and he suspected they wouldn’t stick around for long. Not like the way Caduceus seemed interested in joining a fool’s journey.
As if the Mighty Nein had any real direction.
“There are others.” Molly picked his way back to Caduceus and the light of the fire. “Ones you haven’t met yet. Ones you’re going to save.” Because they will rescue Yasha and Fjord and Jester. He’s sure of it.
Caduceus sipped his tea. “Tell me about them?”
Why was it so easy to talk to this person?
“Jester’s a special one,” Molly said. He concentrated on the dancing flames. “She knows a lot about a few things and very little about everything else. She’s charming and wonderful and deserves far better than this world’s given her.”
“Most people do.” Caduceus was watching him now, and there was something about his gaze that was unnervingly insightful.
“Well, that’s debatable.” Molly rolled his shoulders in a shrug. “Jester is impossibly sweet, but she’s not naive or innocent. I don’t know if I’d trust that god of hers. He’s a shifty one. Maybe keep one eye open around that one.”
Caduceus offered him a slow nod. “He is not one of the Elder gods, I take it?”
“No. Which doesn’t mean he’s bad, I just don’t trust him. Then again, who am I to judge?” Molly lifted his shoulders and spread his hands. “I’m as shifty as they come, and then some.”
He worried, Molly did. Because Jester was not naive, but she depended a lot on the Traveler. They had a strange relationship, far, far different than any cleric Molly had ever met. There was something about the Traveler he could never quite put a finger on, something he couldn’t remember but Lucien probably did.
Molly swept a hand through his hair, nearly getting his fingers caught in his jewelry. He pushed forward, past the lumping growing in his throat.
“Then there’s Fjord,” he continued. “Fjord’s our leader, but he’s going to pretend that he isn’t. He’s going to second-guess every choice he makes, and don’t be fooled by his charm. Half the time it’s an act, it’s what he thinks he should be. Fjord needs a shoulder sometimes, and he needs to be reminded how to have fun.”
There’s a quiet click of ceramic on wood as Caduceus set his teacup aside, empty Molly presumed. “I will do what I can.”
The weight of what he was asking suddenly smacked Molly in the face. He quailed on the inside and turned to face the firbolg.
“You don’t have to,” he said, injecting apology into his tone. It was a heavy burden he asked this relative stranger to accept, and it wasn’t fair. Molly was an asshole, but not that much of an asshole. “You don’t owe me anything, there’s no reward in it, and--”
Caduceus held up a hand. “It’s all right.”
Somehow, Molly thought he actually meant it. Wow. The world was going to ruin his kindness once he left his solitude, wasn’t it?
Damn. Molly couldn’t be there to protect him either.
“Is there anything else, Mr. Tealeaf?” Caduceus asked.
Molly groaned. “Oh, gods. Never call me that again.”
A quiet chuckle rumbled out of the gravekeeper, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Fair enough. But does that answer my question?”
No. No, it didn’t.
Molly had one more piece of his heart left to hand over.
“There’s one more. Yasha.” He saved the best for last, because words were hard sometimes, and it was even harder to explain Yasha to someone who didn’t know how much she had saved him. “She’s going to disappear sometimes, but that’s just the way she is. She’ll always come back, and you have to make sure there’s a place she can come back to. She needs a home, because she doesn’t know how to define it. Until now, it was always me, and now I’m not there so she... she needs to know where to find home...”
He trailed off, swallowing over another pesky lump in his throat. Ah, this was why you didn’t get attached. It was too dangerous, and here he was, attached to living, breathing people, while his tether kept trying to tug him back to his body so the Raven Queen could move him on.
Not yet, he growled. Not yet.
“I want to tell her it’s not her fault,” Molly said, but he wasn’t sure if he was talking to Caduceus or talking in general. “I want her to know not to blame herself. I want...” He trailed off, frustrated. “I want a lot of damn things I can’t have anymore.” He huffed a breath and cut a glance at Caduceus. “Sorry.”
“There’s no need to apologize. I am well-accustomed to people in your position. It’s entirely understandable.” Caduceus stood, and by the gods, he was tall. He moved closer to Molly as if they could actually make contact. “I will take care of your family, Mollymauk Tealeaf. I do not know if I can help Yasha understand, but I will do my best to try. But they need you to do something as well.”
“What? Move on?” Did he sound bitter? Because he felt bitter.
He’d lived a good life, for what he could remember of it, and he’d tried to leave the world a better place than he found it. He’d had his second chance, and he’d like to think he didn’t squander it, even if he was an asshole sometimes.
Molly didn’t regret dying, and he didn’t want to be revived because he was bitter about dying.
Okay, to be fair, there was a lot of life left to live. There were a lot of things he still wanted to do and remember. He was insanely curious about what wild and crazy adventures the Mighty Nein would find. He wanted to see their potential.
So. No.
Molly wasn’t bitter. A little disappointed, maybe, because there was a lot left to do. More than that, though, he worried.
Because the Mighty Nein had a knack for getting themselves into trouble, and they needed looking after, and if he wasn’t there to do it, who would?
“Trust them,” Caduceus said, and his tone was somehow both gentle and blunt.
Well, Caduceus did have a point.
Molly stepped back and watched Caduceus crouch, pulling something across the hearth, perhaps to keep the ash and cinders from popping out and setting the place aflame. He hummed under his breath, and it was a nice tune. Caduceus had a pleasant voice, a soothing one.
Everything about the firbolg was soothing.
Maybe he was exactly what the Mighty Nein needed.
“Thank you,” Molly said as Caduceus stood and dusted off his hands, sweeping his loose hair into a twist to the side of his face.
Caduceus had a beautiful smile. “Get some rest, Mollymauk. Or as much rest as you can in your current state.” He gathered up his dirty dishware, shuffling with it into the kitchen. “We can talk again, if you’re ever lonely. Or not, if you choose to fray the tether. It’s up to you.”
“Maybe not just yet,” Molly said. He wanted to watch for a little bit longer. Just to be sure they’d be okay, that he was leaving them in good hands.
Caduceus hummed agreeably. “Good night.”
He left Molly to the warm quiet of the sitting room, closing himself behind the door to what Molly assumed was a bedroom. Quiet was probably a stretch, too, considering that Nott had started snoring again and Keg joined the chorus.
Molly sat by the fire, in the chair Caduceus had vacated. He didn’t really sit, he just imagined he sat, and somehow he did. He wasn’t quite sure how that worked.
It wasn’t important anyway.
He curled up in the chair, and he watched half of his family sleep. They’d retrieve the other half tomorrow, and set fire and brimstone to the Iron Shepherds. Molly would stick around at least until then.
After that, well.
He’d see where his thread would take him.
*
a/n: I recently rewatched the episode and oops, they don't actually spend the night in Caduceus' house, but oh well. This fic wouldn't leave me and so it had to be written. I love it nonetheless. ^_^
Feedback is welcome and appreciated! It's such a shame these two won't be able to meet in canon. Their interactions would be absolutely fascinating!
Universe: Critical Role, Campaign Two, Episode 28 Adjacent
Characters: Mollymauk Tealeaf, Caduceus Clay, The Mighty Nein in the background
Rated: K+
Description: Molly isn’t ready to say goodbye. There’s a few things he has to do first, including vetting the new member of the Mighty Nein.
There was a tether.
Mollymauk was constantly aware of it, thicker and almost visible when he was close, translucent and thin and wispy the further he ventured from his body and his grave. It gave him a limit, a distance on how far he could travel. He saw the face of the Raven Queen in that tether. He suspected that so long as it didn’t snap, she couldn’t claim him.
Not yet.
Good.
He still had things he needed to do.
It was disorientating at first, waking up without a body, without firmness, gliding through a familiar world but entirely unable to interact with it. He hated it, even more than dying. Being unable to taste or smell or touch. He was an observer alone, and his words went no further than his own ears.
He tried to find the others, once he realized he could go anywhere. Fjord and Jester and Yasha. He honestly tried. But it was too easy to drift away, too easy to get lost. Too easy to forget and drift into memories that weren't his anymore. Safer, then, to stay close to Beau and Caleb and Nott. They needed him, and he couldn’t be there, and it rankled.
He could stay nearby and watch over them. It was a special kind of torture. They gained new allies to help them, and Molly was relieved. Each new ally was another chance for his friends, his family, to stay alive and rescue the others. The dwarf was caustic and the firbolg gentle. They balanced each other out.
It wasn't until they visited a graveyard in the middle of an odd forest did Mollymauk first feel uneasy. There was something ancient about the place, as there always was when it came to houses of the dead, but there was an underlying sickness as well. Something dark and seething. The others didn't seem to notice it, but Molly saw it, like a black, twisted coating of decay. It must not have been on the material plane, because he could touch it and smell it.
Rot, it was. Like something had infected the land, and it was slowly spreading.
Molly shuddered and hoped his companions left this place as soon as possible. The rot tried to seep into his boots and into his body. Like it wanted to claim him. It made the touch of the Raven Queen on his tether falter. And for something to falter the Raven Queen, well, Mollymauk did not want to meet its owner.
They found a house in the middle of the graveyard. There was a firbolg living in the house. He was welcoming, but odd. Mollymauk chuckled. Odd fit very well in the Mighty Nein. They didn't attract boring people, only weird ones. He, too, was gentle in a way. He offered them a place to rest and recover; he offered his assistance.
Molly was really, really fond of his clothing. Perhaps a bit jealous as well. The firbolg had style! This Caduceus Clay did.
More importantly, his home was safe. Whatever sickness had infested the land around it, Caduceus' home exuded a warmth and safety that defeated it. Molly's tether was grew thinner and thinner, but it felt stronger here in this home. The rot couldn't try to claim him.
Mollymauk didn't sleep, in this inbetween state of being dead and not-dead. He spent his restless nights watching over his friends, wishing he could speak to them, his heart squeezing tighter and tighter in his chest. If he even had a heart in this state. He wasn't sure. He felt warm to himself, felt the rise and fall of his chest, watched it puff in the cold air. But he was intangible and inaudible to all else.
It was frustrating.
"They don’t know you’re still watching over them."
Molly stilled. Caduceus had spoken, but no one was awake. There was no need for anyone to keep watch, in this safe place, so they'd all collapsed in exhausted sprawls over many surfaces of Caduceus' home. The firbolg himself was still awake, sitting by the hearth, staring with contemplation into the flames. He sipped at a delicious smelling tea Molly wished he could try for himself. Though it could probably use a splash of something with a bit of a kick to it.
Molly turned.
Caduceus was no longer watching the fireplace, deep in contemplation. He'd looked up and seemed to be staring right in Mollymauk's direction. Which was absurd. No one could see him. He was dead.
"You are twice dead and still you linger," Caduceus said, his voice hushed as though to keep from waking the others. He tilted his head, pink hair sliding into his face. "You must love them very much."
Molly spun in a slow circle, his coat swirling around his legs, but there was no one awake and no one around. "Are you talking to me?"
Point of fact -- they’d left his coat to mark his grave, but here it was, on his shoulders, swishing around his calves. Did he exist in the clothes he preferred to wear? Was that how it worked?
Caduceus chuckled. "Unless there is another lavender tiefling standing behind you, then yes, I am talking to you."
Molly swayed where he stood. "You can see me?" He blinked, shook his head. "You can hear me. Why?"
"You see where I live and it surprises you?" Caduceus laughed again, though it didn't seem to be mocking. He took a sip of his tea, amusement brightening his gentle eyes. "Now, you know who I am, since you have been here, but I haven't had the pleasure of your acquaintance."
Molly moved closer, into the radius of the hearth. He couldn't feel the heat of it, but the flicker of the fire was somehow comforting nonetheless. He could almost pretend he was alive.
"Mollymauk Tealeaf, at your service," he said with an exaggerated bow and a grin. His hair flopped into his eyes before he pushed it off his forehead and straightened. "Former member of the Mighty Nein."
"Current member," Caduceus corrected. "I'm sure your friends will agree. Membership doesn't end with death."
Molly folded his arms and glanced over at the sleeping lumps that were the visible Mighty Nein, a few snores floating out from Nott's direction before Beau rolled over and nudged Nott in her sleep.
"Yeah. They're idiots like that." Affection swelled in his heart. By gods, he wished he could be there. "Are you really going to join them? They're a bunch of assholes, you know."
"I believe your arrival here was fated. It’s time for me to leave." Caduceus leaned back in the chair, his fingers stroking the outside of the teacup. "Lady Melora led your friends to me for a reason. So yes, I am going to join their venture."
Molly nodded slowly. "Good." He drew in a slow, deep breath, though he couldn't taste anything. "That's good." He sucked on his bottom lip, nibbling it. "They need looking after."
"Everyone needs it in some way, your family maybe more than most," Caduceus agreed. "And I will help reunite the two halves." His pleasant expression flickered with distaste. "I don't like slavers."
"Few do." Molly sighed and turned back toward Beau and Caleb and Nott, moving among them without disturbing them. Easy enough to do as he wasn't capable of true touch. "There will be a point someday where they'll go somewhere I can't follow. Even being here strains my tether."
Caduceus hummed, nodding slowly.
It hurt.
Molly didn't want to leave them to someone else, to a stranger. But he had little choice.
He dropped to a knee, brushing an insubstantial hand over Beauregard's shoulder. "Don't be fooled by Beau's exterior. She's a heathen, and she's rude, and she has an attitude, but she's not that bad." He laughed a little to himself. "Don't get me wrong, she's an asshole. We all are. But she's working on it. And she's a softie under all those muscles." He swallowed over a lump in his throat. "She's loyal. And worth it. You just have to remember to keep an eye on her. She tries to hide her injuries and pretend she’s too tough to be in pain sometimes.”
Molly shifted to Beau's other side, where Nott lay sprawled, snuffling rather than snoring, one hand clutched possessively in Caleb's collar. "Nott's a special one," he said. "She's got sticky fingers, but only for the most absurd things. She guards Caleb fiercely, and honestly, it's better just to let her. She's afraid of water, so if you encounter any in the future, good luck. She's got a terribly low opinion of herself, but that just means she fits in with the rest of us."
Molly stood again and moved to the furthest side, where Caleb was coiled in a blanket, his forehead pressed to Nott's back, his face pinched in sleep, probably with some dark dream. Molly had noticed them on occasion, when staying up late for watch. Caleb was a human swallowed by his past, as desperate to escape it as he was frantic to cling to it.
He wished he could tuck the blankets a little tighter around their squishy wizard.
"Caleb will tell you he's a garbage person," Molly said. "And maybe he is, I don't know. We're all garbage people to be fair, and maybe I was, too. Before." Every word started to become a vise around his heart and lungs. "He gets lost in his own head, don't let him get trapped there. Maybe a book or some paper? He likes those. And feed him? He doesn’t eat nearly enough.”
Molly paused, lost in memories for a second, before he dragged himself back to the present. “Don’t be fooled either. Caleb cares, more than he's ready to admit. " Molly choked out a laugh that felt as raw as his insides. "We all do actually. Care, I mean. Only none of us really want to admit it."
Caduceus hummed a soft sound. "That's very nice."
“Isn’t it?” Molly stepped carefully around his sleeping friends, his eyes passing over Nila and Keg. He didn’t know either of them well enough, and he suspected they wouldn’t stick around for long. Not like the way Caduceus seemed interested in joining a fool’s journey.
As if the Mighty Nein had any real direction.
“There are others.” Molly picked his way back to Caduceus and the light of the fire. “Ones you haven’t met yet. Ones you’re going to save.” Because they will rescue Yasha and Fjord and Jester. He’s sure of it.
Caduceus sipped his tea. “Tell me about them?”
Why was it so easy to talk to this person?
“Jester’s a special one,” Molly said. He concentrated on the dancing flames. “She knows a lot about a few things and very little about everything else. She’s charming and wonderful and deserves far better than this world’s given her.”
“Most people do.” Caduceus was watching him now, and there was something about his gaze that was unnervingly insightful.
“Well, that’s debatable.” Molly rolled his shoulders in a shrug. “Jester is impossibly sweet, but she’s not naive or innocent. I don’t know if I’d trust that god of hers. He’s a shifty one. Maybe keep one eye open around that one.”
Caduceus offered him a slow nod. “He is not one of the Elder gods, I take it?”
“No. Which doesn’t mean he’s bad, I just don’t trust him. Then again, who am I to judge?” Molly lifted his shoulders and spread his hands. “I’m as shifty as they come, and then some.”
He worried, Molly did. Because Jester was not naive, but she depended a lot on the Traveler. They had a strange relationship, far, far different than any cleric Molly had ever met. There was something about the Traveler he could never quite put a finger on, something he couldn’t remember but Lucien probably did.
Molly swept a hand through his hair, nearly getting his fingers caught in his jewelry. He pushed forward, past the lumping growing in his throat.
“Then there’s Fjord,” he continued. “Fjord’s our leader, but he’s going to pretend that he isn’t. He’s going to second-guess every choice he makes, and don’t be fooled by his charm. Half the time it’s an act, it’s what he thinks he should be. Fjord needs a shoulder sometimes, and he needs to be reminded how to have fun.”
There’s a quiet click of ceramic on wood as Caduceus set his teacup aside, empty Molly presumed. “I will do what I can.”
The weight of what he was asking suddenly smacked Molly in the face. He quailed on the inside and turned to face the firbolg.
“You don’t have to,” he said, injecting apology into his tone. It was a heavy burden he asked this relative stranger to accept, and it wasn’t fair. Molly was an asshole, but not that much of an asshole. “You don’t owe me anything, there’s no reward in it, and--”
Caduceus held up a hand. “It’s all right.”
Somehow, Molly thought he actually meant it. Wow. The world was going to ruin his kindness once he left his solitude, wasn’t it?
Damn. Molly couldn’t be there to protect him either.
“Is there anything else, Mr. Tealeaf?” Caduceus asked.
Molly groaned. “Oh, gods. Never call me that again.”
A quiet chuckle rumbled out of the gravekeeper, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “Fair enough. But does that answer my question?”
No. No, it didn’t.
Molly had one more piece of his heart left to hand over.
“There’s one more. Yasha.” He saved the best for last, because words were hard sometimes, and it was even harder to explain Yasha to someone who didn’t know how much she had saved him. “She’s going to disappear sometimes, but that’s just the way she is. She’ll always come back, and you have to make sure there’s a place she can come back to. She needs a home, because she doesn’t know how to define it. Until now, it was always me, and now I’m not there so she... she needs to know where to find home...”
He trailed off, swallowing over another pesky lump in his throat. Ah, this was why you didn’t get attached. It was too dangerous, and here he was, attached to living, breathing people, while his tether kept trying to tug him back to his body so the Raven Queen could move him on.
Not yet, he growled. Not yet.
“I want to tell her it’s not her fault,” Molly said, but he wasn’t sure if he was talking to Caduceus or talking in general. “I want her to know not to blame herself. I want...” He trailed off, frustrated. “I want a lot of damn things I can’t have anymore.” He huffed a breath and cut a glance at Caduceus. “Sorry.”
“There’s no need to apologize. I am well-accustomed to people in your position. It’s entirely understandable.” Caduceus stood, and by the gods, he was tall. He moved closer to Molly as if they could actually make contact. “I will take care of your family, Mollymauk Tealeaf. I do not know if I can help Yasha understand, but I will do my best to try. But they need you to do something as well.”
“What? Move on?” Did he sound bitter? Because he felt bitter.
He’d lived a good life, for what he could remember of it, and he’d tried to leave the world a better place than he found it. He’d had his second chance, and he’d like to think he didn’t squander it, even if he was an asshole sometimes.
Molly didn’t regret dying, and he didn’t want to be revived because he was bitter about dying.
Okay, to be fair, there was a lot of life left to live. There were a lot of things he still wanted to do and remember. He was insanely curious about what wild and crazy adventures the Mighty Nein would find. He wanted to see their potential.
So. No.
Molly wasn’t bitter. A little disappointed, maybe, because there was a lot left to do. More than that, though, he worried.
Because the Mighty Nein had a knack for getting themselves into trouble, and they needed looking after, and if he wasn’t there to do it, who would?
“Trust them,” Caduceus said, and his tone was somehow both gentle and blunt.
Well, Caduceus did have a point.
Molly stepped back and watched Caduceus crouch, pulling something across the hearth, perhaps to keep the ash and cinders from popping out and setting the place aflame. He hummed under his breath, and it was a nice tune. Caduceus had a pleasant voice, a soothing one.
Everything about the firbolg was soothing.
Maybe he was exactly what the Mighty Nein needed.
“Thank you,” Molly said as Caduceus stood and dusted off his hands, sweeping his loose hair into a twist to the side of his face.
Caduceus had a beautiful smile. “Get some rest, Mollymauk. Or as much rest as you can in your current state.” He gathered up his dirty dishware, shuffling with it into the kitchen. “We can talk again, if you’re ever lonely. Or not, if you choose to fray the tether. It’s up to you.”
“Maybe not just yet,” Molly said. He wanted to watch for a little bit longer. Just to be sure they’d be okay, that he was leaving them in good hands.
Caduceus hummed agreeably. “Good night.”
He left Molly to the warm quiet of the sitting room, closing himself behind the door to what Molly assumed was a bedroom. Quiet was probably a stretch, too, considering that Nott had started snoring again and Keg joined the chorus.
Molly sat by the fire, in the chair Caduceus had vacated. He didn’t really sit, he just imagined he sat, and somehow he did. He wasn’t quite sure how that worked.
It wasn’t important anyway.
He curled up in the chair, and he watched half of his family sleep. They’d retrieve the other half tomorrow, and set fire and brimstone to the Iron Shepherds. Molly would stick around at least until then.
After that, well.
He’d see where his thread would take him.
a/n: I recently rewatched the episode and oops, they don't actually spend the night in Caduceus' house, but oh well. This fic wouldn't leave me and so it had to be written. I love it nonetheless. ^_^
Feedback is welcome and appreciated! It's such a shame these two won't be able to meet in canon. Their interactions would be absolutely fascinating!
