dracoqueen22: (discardregret)
[personal profile] dracoqueen22
a/n: This was supposed to be a part of Seireitei Monogatari but ended up far too long and expansive so I pulled it out and separated it. I hope you enjoy!

Title: Need, Want, Desire
Pairings: Shuuhei/Renji (established) and Shuuhei/Byakuya/Renji
Words: 6147
Warning: boykisses, language, angst, boysex, threesome, some OOC
Description: It was a night Byakuya would never forget, no matter how much it might hurt in the morning.
Dedication: To Shogi, who wanted a fic with this threesome



“You can't be serious.”

Shuuhei stared at his lover of a decade or possibly more with disbelief etched into his features, jaw nearly hitting the floor.

Renji folded his arms over his chest. “What? Ya don't think it'll work?” he demanded testily, as though Shuuhei had just insulted him.

“He's Kuchiki Byakuya,” Shuuhei stated as though that explained everything, which in reality it did. The very thing that Renji was suggesting was not only ludicrous. It was tantamount to suicide and Shuuhei very much liked living.

One brow arched cockily. “So?”

Shuuhei sighed, fingers rubbing over his forehead. “No, I don't think it'll work,” he explained, feeling a sudden urge to pace and following through with it. He trod back and forth over the floor of their shared living room, deftly avoiding the low-lying table and cords from a video game system from the Living World. “You're out of you're damn mind.”

“Come on, senpai.”

Shuuhei ground his teeth. “Renji, if your captain is lonely, I don't think sandwiching him between the two of us is going to help.”

Renji grabbed his arm, dragging his pacing to a halt and forcing Shuuhei to look at him. “He needs to be reminded that he's human,” Renji said softly.

The vice-captain of the ninth lifted his brows, causing his lover to scowl.

“Shinigami aside,” Renji amended, a tic in his left eyebrow. “Dammit, ya know what I mean, Shuu.”

Shuuhei dragged his palm down his face, looking sidelong at his lover, who appeared damn near close to begging. “You're serious about this, aren't you?” he demanded.

“Dead serious.”

Shuuhei was stunned.

He had thought this another one of Renji's jokes, teasing comments that they let someone join in from time to time. And they had, for pure fun once or twice. Things forgotten later as they always returned to one another. But this... this wasn't something else. It wasn't just for fun. What Renji suggested had purpose in mind. Intent. It wasn't something that could be brushed aside in the end.

Shuuhei knew how much his lover had once admired Kuchiki Byakuya. Had once strived to defeat the man. Hell, had once been in love – in a way – with Kuchiki's younger sister.

Still skeptical, Shuuhei wasn't willing to give in just yet. “And it has nothing to do with the fact that he's working the whole division like he expects another war to happen any day now.”

Renji reddened, but didn't run away from the accusation. “Maybe a small bit. So ya see, it's for our sake as well as his.” His fingers stroked across Shuuhei's arm, pulling him a pace closer.

“What a humanitarian,” Shuuhei muttered, a bit sarcastic.

Renji sighed. “Shuuhei.”

“Do you realize what you're trying to do here?” Shuuhei asked, because he had to cover anything before he could even think about it, but damn if he wasn't seriously considering Renji's request. “I mean, really?”

Renji’s eyes shifted to the side. “I get that it'll be a little... difficult.”

“Difficult?” Shuuhei threw his hands up into the air, considering that the understatement of the century. “You're talking about the prince of ice, the head of the Kuchiki clan, a man who never smiles.”

“That ain't true. I've seen him smile... once,” Renji defended, still determined to follow through with this insane plot of his.

Shuuhei rolled his eyes, unable to believe that he was actually considering this insanity. “Tell me you have some sort of plan.”

“You think I'd try something like this without one?”

“It wouldn't be the first time.”

Renji sighed, tugging on the end of his ponytail. “I'm serious about this, Shuuhei. I want to help, Kuchiki-taichou, okay?”

The dark-haired man looked into his lover's eyes, seeing a fire usually only reserved for battle gleaming in the cherry-amber depths. And he knew he was defeated.

Shuuhei nodded slowly. “Fine. I'll agree to this.” He lifted a finger, pointing it in Renji's face. “But don't blame me if it backfires.”

“It won't.”

Shuuhei, however, wasn't quite so sure.
- - - -

“Good night!”

“See you tomorrow!”

“Weren't you meeting us for drinks?”

“Hell yeah, I wouldn't miss it!”

Footsteps vanished into the late evening, the sky a dark blue, stars barely beginning to show their faces. It was late, but it was early, depending on how one looked at it.

Byakuya was content to let the words wash over and through him as he listened to his subordinates make plans and say their farewells for the evening with only half an ear. His eyes were focused on the documents in front of him, stacks and stacks of paperwork that seemed endless. Part of it was his fault. He had accepted the extra work from the captain-commander after all.

A knock disturbed Byakuya from his musings and he looked up from a report on the recent influx of applications for the Academy to find his vice-captain lingering in the doorway, knuckles pressed against the doorframe.

“It's Friday, taichou.”

Byakuya arched a brow. “So I noticed,” he said dryly, gaze flickering briefly over Renji's appearance. Not that much had changed in the past half-decade or so. The war hadn't changed Renji, at least, not on the outside. And Byakuya wasn't the sort to delve below the surface; it wasn't his place.

Renji shook his head, inviting himself into Byakuya's personal space and standing before his captain's desk. One hand planted itself on Byakuya's desk as Renji leaned forward. “I thought you hadn't, considering you're still here poring over your paperwork. The sixth's not on rotation this weekend, ya know.”

The cockiness was something new. Earned, perhaps, but still new. Byakuya was still adjusting to Renji's strengthened confidence. The self-assured smirk suited Renji, far better than the hesitant air he had always assumed around Byakuya before. Even if he did occasionally take that confidence a bit too far, affecting a familiarity that Byakuya didn't remember allowing.

Their present proximity was a prime example of this, Renji leaning closely enough that Byakuya could smell the man's cologne. An odd – if not intriguing – mix of cedarwood and rosemary.

“There are things that must be completed no matter the date, Renji. I am sure you are aware of this,” Byakuya answered shortly, tearing his eyes away from that burning gaze and focusing on the papers in front of him.

But a hand boldly planted itself down in the middle of his documents. “The war is over, taichou. I think the captain-commander would understand if you saved that for Monday.”

Byakuya blinked, ever so slowly, surprised by the subtle and delicate press of reaitsu that rose up to meet his own. He hadn’t even realized his vice-captain to be capable of such delicate work.

“If I have nothing better to do, then there is no need to set such things aside,” Byakuya stated simply, though he made no efforts to tug his papers free. He was no juvenile.

Renji, however, was persistent. Byakuya normally agreed with his vice-captain’s dogged determination, but at the moment, it proved quite irritating.

“If I might be so bold as ta offer a suggestion, you could come out drinking with me.”

For a moment, Byakuya was too stunned by the offer to think about it clearly. Go out drinking? At any common bar? Like a common soldier? Any member of the Kuchiki family would turn their noses up at such a suggestion.

And yet Byakuya… Byakuya found himself intrigued, considering it. Not the raucous and noise of some two-bit bar down in Rukongai, but the thought of not drinking alone. Of sharing some relatively intelligent conversation with another human being and not the stiff silence of his attending servants.

“In Rugonkai?” Byakuya questioned, barely refraining from physically wrinkling his nose at the mere mention of it.

Renji laughed softly, huskily. “Nah. Jes come ta my quarters. It’ll be quiet and that way, I know yer not sitting here, up to your ears in paperwork.” He laughed again, free hand scratching at his chin. “I’m half-afraid I’ll come back Monday and ye’ll still be sittin’ here, ass glued to the chair.”

If he felt any remorse for the vulgarity, Renji didn’t show it. Byakuya attributed that to the new comfort level in their relationship. He had yet to decide if that were a plus or a minus.

Byakuya thought it would be better, smarter, safer if he just said no. If he just finished up his paperwork, tidied up his desk and went home to a sedate meal, a relaxing bath, an early bedtime… all of the same things that he usually did. Then he remembered he would truly be alone tonight. Rukia was off in Karakura on assignment having left this morning and Byakuya had gotten used to his sister’s – wasn’t it wonderful he could call her that with little hesitation now? – presence. His incredibly large manor would only feel…well, incredibly large, without her there.

He didn’t want to admit it, especially not aloud, but strangely, Byakuya didn’t want to be alone.

Wordlessly, he placed his brush back in the inkwell and set both off to the side. He slid his papers out from under Renji’s hand, pulling them into neat stacks on the corner of his desk.

“What is it you plan on serving me, Renji?” Nothing cheap, Byakuya hoped. He hadn’t the taste for it.

His vice-captain gave him a cocky grin in answer.
- - - -

The night was cool, crisp, with a subtle bite to it that Byakuya actually enjoyed. The sky was incredibly clear, except for a few wispy clouds, and the pinpricks of light were bright and defined. It was the sort of view that Byakuya could appreciate. Even more so as Renji whistled merrily, as though he were going out drinking with a bunch of his eleventh division buddies as opposed to his stern and uptight captain.

They arrived at Renji’s quarters, something that Byakuya was surprised to discover were neat and tidy. He would have expected more mess considering his vice-captain’s personality. Even more surprising, however, was the person who waited for them in the sitting room, cup raised in greeting.

“Yo. Renji. Kuchiki-taichou.”

“Ahh, senpai, you don’t have to call him that. We’re all friends here,” Renji said with a snort, giving an askance look Byakuya’s direction. “Right?”

Byakuya nodded slowly, still wondering why Hisagi Shuuhei was here, obviously ahead of Renji, as if he belonged. “Titles will only ruin the experience,” Byakuya said, struggling to put the pieces of his shock together.

He had heard rumors on the wind of a relationship between the two – Shuuhei and Renji – but he had dismissed them as casual gossip. Perhaps there was some truth in them?

“Exactly!” Renji slung a rather bold arm across Byakuya’s shoulders, directing him to a seat and all but pushing him down on one side of the table. “I’ll get the sake!”

He breezed out of the room, leaving Byakuya and Hisagi to stare at each other. There was something in Hisagi’s dark eyes, something unreadable, as he looked at Byakuya, toying with his sake cup.

“The ninth isn’t on rotation this weekend either?” Byakuya asked, groping for conversation as he could hear Renji rattling and whistling in the next room over.

“Surprisingly, no,” Hisagi responded in his easily recognized baritone. “It seems the soutaichou is finally willing to lax our surveillance.”

“Not too much, I hope,” Byakuya said, frowning slightly. “We cannot afford to fall too deeply into the rhythm of peace. Lest we find ourselves caught off guard.”

Renji reappeared, carrying two sake bowls and a jug of sake. “Alright, enough of that serious talk,” he grunted, plunking himself down at another side of the table and setting one of the cups down in front of Byakuya. “We’re not here to talk about work or anythin’ like that. Got me?”

Raising a brow, Byakuya accepted the bowl, and the sake Renji poured into it. “Then what do you propose we discuss, Renji?”

It felt strange – and yet comfortable – for his vice-captain’s name to fall from his lips with such familiarity. True he used Renji’s name while in the office, but there was something more personal about using it now. Something more friendly and open.

“Anything else,” Renji said aggressively, lifting his bowl. “A toast?”

Hisagi arched one brow, holding a faint look of amusement. “To what?”

Renji shrugged. “Good booze and good company?”

“A dai ginjo is hardly sake to be remanded to ‘good booze’,” Byakuya scoffed, sniffing delicately at the sake in his cup and identifying it immediately. He wondered how in Seireitei Renji had been able to afford it.

Renji rolled his eyes. “Along with titles, let’s leave that pompous bullshit at the door, ne, Byakuya?”

Despite himself, Byakuya felt a smile pull at the corners of his mouth. “If you insist.”

“We do,” Hisagi inserted and lifting his bowl, he agreed. “Good booze and good company.”

They tilted their bowls towards each other but didn’t actually touch the cups before bringing them to their lips. The taste of the elegant, expensive sake danced over Byakuya’s tongue and he nearly hummed in delight. It had been so long since he had allowed himself such an extravagance.

The first toast completed, and drinks poured yet again, conversation started – slow at first, but gaining in confidence. Byakuya listened as Hisagi discussed his attempts to get his column off the ground. He watched as Renji debated the placement of his next tattoo. He put in his own recommendations for some of the better restaurants in Rukongai, surprising both men with his knowledge.

Time passed, sake flowed, and Byakuya settled into comfort. He wouldn’t have expected it, considering the circumstances, but it was surprisingly easy.

Until he noticed things he hadn’t noticed before. Like the looks the two men were giving each other across the table. The casual touches, the shared jokes. Each of these spoke of a relationship that neither man admitted aloud, but Byakuya could recognize in an instant. It made him feel like the outsider looking in.

Hisagi and Renji laughed, over some shared joke, and Renji poured the last of the sake into their bowls. Byakuya downed the wonderful flavor and set his bowl gently on the table, with a careful ping of finality.

Byakuya, feeling warmed by the sake, rose to his feet. It was time to make a graceful exit. Or at least, that had been his intention. He wobbled though, and felt himself tip sideways, when suddenly Renji was there, a hand supporting his elbow. Byakuya inclined his head out of embarrassed gratitude.

“Whoa, careful there, taichou,” Renji said, steadying him. “Shit, how long has it been since ya last drunk?”

“Quite some time, I’m afraid,” Byakuya admitted, one hand lifting to his head which suddenly felt as if it planned to detach from his neck and float away.

“This was your big plan?” Hisagi demanded loudly, attracting Byakuya’s attention. He looked up to see Hisagi staring at Renji. “Get him drunk? I’m not going to take advantage of a drunk man!”

Renji’s eyes narrowed. “It’s not advantage if they want it!” he argued.

“It is if they’re too drunk to make a logical decision!”

Byakuya blinked. “I’m sitting right here,” he said, affronted, though he wasn’t entirely sure they were talking to him. Or about him. Or even talking at all since it could be a result of the dizziness and not a coherent realization.

Both men turned to look at Byakuya, their expressions a strange mix of interest, hunger, concern, and indecision. Byakuya’s eyes flicked between Hisagi and his vice-captain; he wasn’t so drunk as to not notice how close they stood together. Or their obvious familiarity with one another.

“I am intruding,” Byakuya stated with sudden understanding. And made another great effort to rise without tipping over.

Renji was there, in an instant, grabbing Byakuya’s elbow and keeping him from toppling to the floor. “We invited ya, remember?” he said, almost too earnest for Byakuya’s understanding.

“I am not so far gone that I had forgotten,” Byakuya said, or slurred rather. He had to give Renji credit. The sake must have been fine for it to affect Byakuya like this without him realizing it. This behavior was unseemly of him. “But now I wonder why?”

Renji’s fingers tightened on his elbow, strangely warm, and Byakuya suddenly realized how close his vice-captain was. There were only a few inches of difference in height between them, but somehow, Renji seemed larger. And warmer. That intoxicating scent of his floated to Byakuya’s nose and his nostrils widened, eagerly inhaling it.

“Because I was worried about you. We were worried about ya,” Renji said, correcting himself after exchanging a glance with Hisagi. “The war’s over. But you look like you’re still caught up in it sometimes. And I don’t want ta see ya go back to the stiff, cold captain you were before. I kinda like the somewhat friendly captain ya are now.”

Renji smiled at his own words, a touch of fondness in the curve of his lips. Byakuya found himself lightly smiling in return, thinking that yes, he was indeed a different man now. Not so changed that he didn’t recognize himself, but different enough that he openly treated Rukia as his sister and no longer regarded everyone around him with complete disdain. Well, perhaps with the exception of those deserving of his contempt.

Alcohol made for a languid warmth inside of Byakuya. It softened his thoughts, his actions. He felt his cheeks heat as he repeated Renji’s words to himself.

I kinda like the somewhat friendly captain ya are now.


His brain seemed awfully focused on the ‘like’ part of that sentence.

“And you thought getting me drunk was the solution?” Byakuya asked, pleased with himself for forming a coherent sentence, even if another part of him latched greedily onto the warmth that Renji’s nearness offered. A sensitive, wanting side of him wanted to lean into his vice-captain and soak up that warmth.

For the first time that evening, the look in Renji’s eyes was uncertain. “Not exactly,” he said, and he looked at Hisagi around Byakuya’s head before meeting Byakuya’s gaze again. “It was jes to break the ice.”

Byakuya arched a brow, giving Renji a look that his vice captain knew meant to explain and explain in a way that Byakuya understood. He didn’t want a garbled, confused tangle of words as mostly comprised Renji’s battle reports – too much excitement over the victory Byakuya had always assumed. No, Byakuya wanted clarity here.

Renji shifted from one foot to the other, obviously uncertain, before he seemed to find his resolve and he nodded firmly to himself. He licked his lips, hesitated, then lifted his other hand. Byakuya waited, wondering why Renji wasn’t speaking, and received his answer his vice-captain closed the space between them with a kiss.

It could hardly be called a kiss since it was more or less a simple brush of their lips and the faintest pressure of Renji’s fingers on Byakuya’s chin. But it brought the evening into startling perspective for Byakuya. Everything suddenly clicked into place with the finality of understanding and for the life of his Kuchiki pride, Byakuya had the sudden urge to gape in surprise.

“Do I have yer consent?” Renji asked, his voice a whisper across Byakuya’s lips.

But Byakuya was not so far gone that he had forgotten the other presence in the room. He could feel the heat of Hisagi’s stare across his shoulders, though he couldn’t discern the intent in the stare. Was it anger? Jealousy? Byakuya didn’t know.

“And Hisagi?”

Renji’s tongue dragged across his lips as he cast a brief glance at the other vice-captain. “Why don’t ya ask him?”

No sooner had Renji spoke than Byakuya felt the hands settle on his shoulders from behind, another warm body pressing against his back. “I have learned to share,” Hisagi said, his voice a deep rumble that sent a shiver through Byakuya’s body.

He must be drunk because he didn’t once think to protest. Or pull away. Or put a safe, respectable distance between himself and the other men.

Men. As in plural. Two males. Byakuya had never thought of himself as a lover of men. There had always been Hisana and the occasional admiration of another female or two. But he’d never stopped to look twice at another man even though he knew it wasn’t exactly uncommon. In fact, Byakuya was just drunk enough to admit to himself that he rarely looked past his own person at others.

However, it hadn’t escaped his notice that his vice-captain was a man considered attractive. And Hisagi’s popularity amongst the Gotei-13 was not to be dismissed either.

So here he was, the focus of attention of two very attractive men, and Byakuya was hard pressed to walk away. In fact, he couldn’t seem to convince his limbs to do just that. Not when Hisagi pressed against him from behind, warm and enclosing. Not when Renji moved closer from the front, taller and intimidating, the heat in his eyes practically tangible.

Not when Renji tilted Byakuya’s chin upwards once more and slanted their lips together, his kiss surprisingly gentle and skilled. His tongue moved slowly, carefully, as though savoring a flavor, encouraging Byakuya’s lips to part and invite Renji inside. Each motion was slow, cautious, like stepping around a minefield.

Even Hisagi’s hands were guarded, slowly braced on Byakuya’s shoulders before sliding down the length of his arms. One hand continued its path, stroking Byakuya like a cat, but the other lifted, brushing the hair off Byakuya’s neck. Warm breath and warm lips pressed against the nape of Byakuya’s neck, making his skin tingle. A moan vibrated in Byakuya’s throat and he swayed, trapped between two different kinds of warmth.

Renji broke off the kiss. “Might wanna do this somewhere else,” he said, breathing over Byakuya’s lips.

In a haze of pleasure, Byakuya nodded numbly. Who was he kidding? Why resist when he wanted it? Needed it more like. He felt like there was an escape out there, some kind of salve to a bleeding, aching wound that refused to clot. Even if it was only temporary.

Renji led the way; they didn’t go far. Pushing open a paneled doorway revealed a bedroom, futon already laid out and lined with blankets. There was no hesitation, no awkward placement. Renji crawled on first and pulled Byakuya after him, their lips colliding immediately as sword-calloused fingers reached for Byakuya’s obi. Hisagi followed them down, curling around Byakuya from behind and placing warm lips over the side of Byakuya’s neck.

Byakuya lost himself from one sensation to the next. Renji slowly and carefully peeling away the layers of his clothing, Hisagi helping to guide them away from Byakuya’s body. Renji’s clothing disappearing at the same maddening, but arousing pace, until Byakuya’s attention was caught by the bare expanse of his vice-captain’s chest and the dark, jagged lines that raced across it.

He couldn’t tear his gaze away and his hands rose of their own accord, fingers splaying across Renji’s chest before they traced the dark tattoos. There was something hypnotizing about them, but no more so than the hitch of Renji’s breath and the darkening hunger in his cherry-red eyes as Byakuya dragged his hands over Renji’s chest.

“Ah, taichou, yer killin’ me here,” Renji said, his head falling back against the futon.

Byakuya arched one brow, but leaned closer, suddenly desperate to trace those marks with something other than his fingers. “What was that about titles?”

If Renji planned to counter, it degenerated into a moan the moment Byakuya’s tongue touched the tattoo over his flat abdomen. One of Renji’s hands tangled in Byakuya’s hair, not pulling or guiding, just simply there.

And then hands dragged down the flat, bare expanse of Byakuya’s back, firm but gentle, fingers pressing and touching. Byakuya felt his skin prickle. He had almost forgotten about Hisagi, and clearly, the vice-captain wasn’t appreciating the lack of attention. His hands settled on Byakuya’s hips, but that left room for his mouth to follow, small, biting nips that traced the line of Byakuya’s spine.

Byakuya closed his eyes, surrendering to sensation. The feel of Hisagi’s hands on his skin, the feel of Renji beneath him. Their lips and hands encouraging, Renji tasting like sake and something sweet, Hisagi tasting like sake and licorice, a strange flavor but one that Byakuya enjoyed nonetheless. Clothes were lost, until it was nothing but the press of skin on skin, heat on heat, the occasional slide of one sweaty limb against another.

Renji dragged Byakuya down for another one of those surprisingly gentle and skilled kisses, his body surging up to meet Byakuya’s, encouraging and wanting. Byakuya felt his arousal skitter across his vice-captain’s flesh and he gasped, need and desire flashing through him urgently. He felt Hisagi press against him from behind, heat and hardness, smelling like sweat and metal and sandalwood. Hisagi mouthed Byakuya’s shoulder, teeth a gentle pressure, his hands squeezing and massaging Byakuya’s hips.

Fingers threaded through Byakuya’s hair rocked his hips against Renji’s, feeling their arousals slide slippery together. Hisagi, in turn, rocked against Byakuya, establishing a jerky, off-kilter rhythm that felt too good for Byakuya to even think of complaining. Instead, he broke off the kiss to mouth Renji’s collarbone, tasting sweat and something else, something spicily erotic.

Hisagi leaned past him and Byakuya was treated to the arousing sight of the two vice-captains kissing, open-mouthed and hungry. Byakuya was trapped between them, surrounded by heat and softness and the sounds of passion. Hisagi groaned and the rumble of it vibrated against Byakuya’s back.

Byakuya’s hips jerked, forwards and backwards, seeking more and more until he felt like he was one massive ball of desire. One hand smacked against the futon, fingers digging into the mattress for something to grip. And one of Renji’s hand left Byakuya’s hair to grip Hisagi’s, as though refusing to allow either of them to back away. If he was bothered by the combined weight of the two men atop him, Renji didn’t show it.

Renji muttered something under his breath, more gasps than words. It could have been a repetition of “damn” but Byakuya wasn’t really paying attention. Not when his hands were curling tightly and he jabbed his hips forward, grinding against Renji. He could feel Hisagi grinding against him, rocking desperately, hungrily. He felt Renji’s fingers scraping against his scalp, encouraging and wanting.

Byakuya could feel the twisting, coiling heat in his belly. It throbbed through his veins, turned his blood to liquid fire. He gasped for breath, all thoughts blinded to nothing but pleasure. To the rhythm of his hips and the taste of Renji and the feel of Hisagi curled around him from behind.

It was like he held something tightly in his fist, and one by one, each of his fingers were loosened. Lastly, someone pried open his thumb until Byakuya was free, no longer contained, and something akin to freedom rushed through him, surging through his limbs, out his body, sparking down his spine.

Byakuya moaned something garbled, hips churning, as the first shocks of his release swept through him. He felt himself spill against Renji, slickening the motion of their bodies. He was only dimly aware of the sounds of Renji and Hisagi joining him in ecstasy, their grips tightening in various spots around his body.

Exhaustion swept over Byakuya like a tidal wave. He struggled to cling to consciousness, stuck between two warm, sweaty bodies but unwilling to try and break free. Not when Renji dragged him into a languid kiss and Hisagi mouthed Byakuya’s shoulder as though he couldn’t get enough of the captain’s taste. Not when Hisagi leaned over Renji to capture his lover’s lips in a reassuring kiss.

Byakuya carded his fingers through Renji’s hair, briefly marveling at the surprising softness of it. He felt something like a hum building in his chest as he all but snuggled between the two men, languid warmth drifting through him. Exhaustion pulled and pulled, and for once, Byakuya didn’t resist. He let the gentle black wash over him.
- - - -

Byakuya was sleeping. Renji hadn’t expected him to do so easily but then, a combination of alcohol and exhausting sex would probably do that to anyone. For the first time, lines of stress and fatigue had eased from his captain’s face, making him look younger. Vulnerable. It was a look that partially disturbed Renji, for he had never thought of Byakuya as vulnerable.

Over the sleeping man’s shoulder, Renji caught Shuuhei’s eyes, his senpai looking at Byakuya with something pinched in his forehead.

“Shuu?”

Blinking slowly, Shuuhei shook his head and reached over Byakuya, grabbing Renji’s free hand. He brought it to his lips, kissing and nibbling the tip of Renji’s fingers. “I don’t think you quite understand what we’ve gotten into,” he murmured, eyes shuttered as he placed a kiss on Renji’s palm.

Renji’s brow crinkled. “What do ya mean?” he asked, but his eyes fell back on Byakuya’s worrisomely vulnerable face. He felt like he probably already knew the answer.

“We might have made things worse,” Shuuhei said quietly, propping his head up with his other hand. “Who would ever want to go back to the cold after feeling warmth?”

“That’s a good thing though,” Renji argued, desperate to allow hope to rise up inside of him. “Maybe he’ll start looking now”

“And maybe we’ve bitten off more than we can chew.” Shuuhei kissed Renji’s palm again before lowering his hand, releasing his hold. He slid back, as though intending to rise. “I’ll get a towel. He seems to have attached himself to you.”

Sure enough, Renji looked down to see that Byakuya had somehow gotten a hold of Renij’s hair, and even now clung to the long strands. Renji frowned, beginning to see what had gotten Shuuhei so worried. He should have known that his uptight and rule-abiding captain would be the sort to hide so much passion. And Shuuhei had a point: after this, how could Byakuya return to his icy shell?

Renji pondered on this, chewing on his bottom lip in frustration, even after Shuuhei returned with a warm towel to clean the three of them up.

“Ya think we hurt ‘im worse?” Renji asked softly, chewing on his bottom lip in agitation.

For a moment, Shuuhei was silent, his movements gentle and confident as swiped the warm towel over Byakuya’s fair skin before handing it to Renji. The look in his dark eyes was contemplative.

“I don’t know,” Shuuhei finally said with a sigh, raking a hand through his hair. “I can’t claim to know what a man like Kuchiki Byakuya is thinking.”

And that was the problem, wasn’t it?

Renji handed the towel back to Shuuhei and laid back against the futon, grabbing the blanket to flick it over his and Byakuya’s nude bodies. The heat from their liaison was beginning to cool and eventually a chill would set in.

Renji looked at his captain, who’d yet to relinquish his hold on Renji’s hair. It was almost cute. Though he doubted Byakuya would look at it in quite the same way.

Fatigue dug warm and languorous fingers into Renji’s muscles. A yawn nearly cracked his jaw. He worried that perhaps he had rushed into things, as Shuuhei had always warned him about doing. He worried that he had hurt Byakuya more than he had healed him. He wasn’t sure how he was going to face the morning.

Shuuhei reappeared, steps light and quick. He flicked the switch, casting the room in darkness save for the moonlight streaming through the wooden blinds. With the practice of one used to sneaking about in the dark, he found the futon and crawled back into it, keeping Byakuya trapped between them. Even across Byakuya’s sleeping form, Renji felt the brush of Shuuhei’s fingers against his side. Comforting and familiar.

“In the morning,” Shuuhei murmured, shifting to get comfortable. “We won’t know anything until we can see his reaction in the morning.”

Renji laughed softly, but it was hardly a sound of amusement. “That’s not exactly a thought ta soothe me ta sleep. I have this fear that we’ll wake up to the taste of Senbonzakura’s blade.”

“This was your idea.”

Which was pretty much an ‘I told you so’ when coming from Shuuhei.

“And I’m not gonna regret it either,” Renji retorted, both to be contrary and because it was the truth. No matter what happened, he still thought they did the right thing. Byakuya needed this. He needed to be reminded of the little things.

Closing his eyes, Renji tried to focus on falling asleep. Surprisingly, it was easier than he would have expected.

- - - -

In the darkness of the night, Byakuya opened his eyes slowly, so many unexplained and confusing thoughts crashing inside of him. He hadn’t been asleep, at least, not entirely. In a half-conscious state, he’d heard part of what Renji and Hisagi had discussed. Though he should have known as much. Clearly this was their plan.

Byakuya couldn’t find it in himself to feel angry, not when he was placed so comfortably between their warmth. He could feel Hisagi breathing against his back, felt the puff of Renji’s breathing across his face. Their reiatsu was a subtle, gentle hum in the air.

They were so familiar with each other, so comfortable. There was an element of trust here that Byakuya could only marvel. Their relationship was something he didn’t think he could duplicate; he didn’t know if he could open himself that thoroughly to anyone. And Byakuya envied them for that trust, for that depth of emotion. He envied them more than he had ever envied anyone in all his existence.

He couldn’t stay here.

Byakuya took in a slow, deep breath, and eased out from between the two men. It was a slow process, but he somehow managed to do so without waking either Renji or Hisagi. He watched, with a clenching heart, as Renji unconsciously rolled across the empty space Byakuya vacated until he was flush against Hisagi. In turn, Hisagi slung an arm over Renji’s side, keeping him close.

He had to leave. Byakuya was unwilling to wake between them in the morning, and even more unwilling to face the awkwardness of the morning after. He wouldn’t know what to say, how to explain his unbridled behavior. He wasn’t even sure what came over him, save to say that he couldn’t blame it on alcohol alone. A buried desire perhaps? Or did it go deeper? Had it sown itself into a need? Byakuya didn’t know.

He crept around the room, somehow locating clothes to pull over his nude form. He didn’t bother with all the layers, just pulling on enough to cover himself. He was going to shunpo back to the Kuchiki manor anyway, and at his speed, no one would see anything. Especially this late at night.

Byakuya crept out of Renji’s quarters, trying not to feel like a thief in the night, and forcing himself not to look back. Part of him wanted nothing more than to slip back into that welcoming heat. But there was another part of him carrying the knowledge that not only did he not belong there, but there was no place for him. And for all his quiet thought, Byakuya couldn’t decide if he felt healed or hurt.

There was a warmth inside of him, a place where something hard and unyielding had finally cracked. He felt it flooding through his entire being, seeking out all the dark places inside of him and filling them with something else. What that was, he wasn’t sure.

In the breath from one shunpo to the next, Byakuya found himself pausing on a rooftop, eyes turned towards the full moon and the pale light it cast down on Seireitei. He wasn’t out of breath, but he was out of thought, mind swirling from one memory to the next. Taste and touch and smell and heat. He missed it already.

A pang struck deep inside Byakuya with all the force of a large bell, ringing soundly through him. It hurt and felt wonderful all the same. He wasn’t sure how to explain it.

His fingers brushed across his collarbone, where he still remembered the impression of Renji’s teeth. The tickle of his own hair against the nape of his neck was like a reminder of Hisagi’s lips. If he closed his eyes, Byakuya could easily remember. He didn’t think he could ever forget.

A small shudder worked its way through Byakuya.

He wasn’t ever going to forget.

* * * *

a/n: I don’t claim to be an expert on sake. At all. Dai ginjo is, according to my research, the most expensive sake to make because of how polished the rice is and some other complicated methods that I don’t really understand. How did Renji acquire a bottle? It was a gift from Shunsui! But that’s a story for another time. 

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