[FoF] Scars of Yesterday 8/24

[dracoqueen22]

Scars of Yesterday
Chapter Eight

Sideswipe woke with a mouthful of feathers, and spat them out on instinct, because he couldn’t remember a time he hadn’t woke with a mouthful of feathers, specifically Sunstreaker’s. At night, Sunstreaker wrapped around him like he hated that they were in two different bodies and sought to try and merge them back together.

It was nice when it was cold and they only had each other for warmth. But they had blankets and pillows and this cozy space.

Sideswipe loved his brother. He really did. But he was suffocating, damn it.

“Sunny, wake up,” Sideswipe said, trying to grab his brother by the shoulders and give him a shake.

“Nnnn,” Sunstreaker muttered and rolled away from him, right into the side of their little nook. “Wait. What?”

“Get off. It’s hot.” Sideswipe gave him another push.

“Yeah. It is.” Sunstreaker sat up, feathers sticking in all directions, blinking slowly, and it was impossible to stay annoyed with him when he looked that cute. “Wait. We’re not…”

“It wasn’t a dream,” Sideswipe said, and grabbed Sunstreaker’s hand, pulling it close to feather a kiss across his knuckles. “I think we’re actually safe.”

Sunstreaker smiled at him and leaned in, stealing Sideswipe’s lips for a gentle kiss, one they rarely indulged in because they were always under surveillance and couldn’t afford to show it.

“I hope we are,” Sunstreaker said as he pressed his forehead to Sideswipe’s. “We’ll wait and see.”

Sideswipe chuckled. “Always the negative one.”

“Protective. You get yourself in trouble.”

“You really think that sweet little Laserbeak would hurt us?” Sideswipe teased as he shifted to take the weight off his healing hip, and tuck his head under Sunstreaker’s chin. “After she did all this for us?”

Sunstreaker made a thoughtful noise. “Gifts usually came with a price.”

“True.”

Sideswipe didn’t see any malice in Laserbeak’s actions, however. While he was wary of everyone else in this aerie, Soundwave included, Laserbeak was a bright spark of genuine kindness, he was sure of it. The others, well, he would see what happened.

“Why do you think he wears that mask?” Sideswipe asked as he listened to his brother breathe and his core beat.

“Humans,” Sunstreaker said.

Well, that was an answer in itself, wasn’t it?

The curtain to their tiny nook rustled. Sunstreaker tensed, but Sideswipe tracked the movement to the right side, where a tiny face peeked in at them.

“Oh, good. You’re awake!” Laserbeak grinned and offered a wave. “We’re going to have breakfast. You want to come join us?”

As if on cue, Sideswipe’s stomach rumbled.

Laserbeak giggled. “I think that’s a yes.”

“It is,” Sideswipe said. “We’re coming.”

“Good.”

The curtain swished back shut.

It took a little prodding on Sideswipe’s part, but soon enough, he and Sunstreaker emerged from their nest of blankets and pillows, the most comfortable bed either of them had ever had.

“I could get used to this,” Sideswipe said as he fingered the soft weave of one of the blankets, which was an eye-watering blend of bright colors.

“I’m trying not to,” Sunstreaker said. “In case it goes away.”

Sideswipe swept the curtain aside, and the smell of breakfast immediately hit his nose. His stomach grumbled louder.

Soundwave and the rest of his siblings had gathered around a big basket in the middle of the nest. They were already munching away on fresh fruits and breads.

There was only one he didn’t recognize, so he assumed the solid black harpy who was only a bit larger than Frenzy and Rumble, was Ravage. He’d never seen a harpy so dark, Ravage’s feathers black and glossy, with an almost jewel-like sheen. Like the insects Sideswipe sometimes saw crawling around the floor.

“Come sit next to me!” Laserbeak chirped, patting the space next to her. “Move over, Rumble. Make some room.”

“You’re so bossy,” Rumble grumbled, but he did elbow Frenzy until they both shifted over, making plenty of space for Sideswipe and Sunstreaker to join them around the basket.

“Good morning,” Soundwave said, his voice carrying a slight rasp. His mask was gone, though he wore his visor still, and the scars on his cheek, mouth and neck were abruptly visible.

Humans, indeed.

“Morning,” Sideswipe chirped, plopping himself down and dragging Sunstreaker to sit next to him. He hooked a talon in the basket and dragged it closer, salivating at the large pile of food therein.

“Sleep okay?” Soundwave asked.

“Fine.” Sunstreaker snagged a muffin for each hand, despite Sideswipe trying to nudge one of the fruits toward him.

“Very fine,” Sideswipe said. “Thanks for breakfast.”

“You’re welcome,” said Frenzy and Rumble in tandem, sharing a look before snickering at each other.

Frenzy looked a lot better than he did yesterday, and seemed untroubled by his recent captivity. Sideswipe, of course, knew better. It was easier to pretend all was well then worry those around you, especially if those were your overbearing twin. Given how close Rumble sat to Frenzy, watching every bite he took, Rumble must have been the ‘Sunstreaker’.

Sideswipe grabbed an apple and some kind of soft fruit he didn’t recognize, biting eagerly into the unfamiliar one first. It was sweet and fleshy and juicy, and it tasted so good.

“So,” Sunstreaker said as he picked off little pieces of the muffin and ate it delicately. “What now?”

“First, introductions,” Soundwave tilted his head and gestured toward the black harpy. “This is Ravage.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ravage said. “You won’t see me much. I have an assignment.”

“Assignment?” Sideswipe echoed the unfamiliar word.

“Vortex.” Ravage’s hands were curled around a steaming up, and he sipped from it. “I must watch him.”

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker both nodded. “Probably a good idea,” Sideswipe said as he grabbed another interesting bit of fruit from the basket and pushed the half-eaten fleshy thing at Sunstreaker, hissing for him to eat it. “Not know him.”

“What now for us?” Sunstreaker asked as he wrinkled his nose and pushed Sideswipe’s fleshy thing back at him. “Don’t want it.”

“Try it! It’s good!”

“Don’t want it,” Sunstreaker repeated as the juice started to dribble out of the fruit and get on Sideswipe’s fingers.

“It’s a peach,” said Laserbeak as she craned her neck to look at them. “And those are grapes and blueberries and walnuts and blackberries and oranges and…” She rattled off a list of names, pointing to each object in turn, some of which Sideswipe already recognized, some he didn’t.

He intended to try them all. Sunstreaker might be pickier, but Sideswipe wasn’t. He wanted to try everything, now that they weren’t in cages and expected to fight for their lives.

“We have work to do,” Frenzy said as he and Rumble shared a cup back and forth, though Sideswipe couldn’t see what was in it. “But you and Soundwave get to take a tour of the aerie.”

“Meet some people,” Rumble said.

“Sounds fun,” Sideswipe chirped as he chomped on a handful of blackberries, the tart-sweetness exploding over his tongue. Damn, these were good.

“Boring,” said Buzzsaw.

“Well, I’m going,” Laserbeak declared with a flick of her colorful tail. “You can stay here and sulk, Buzz.”

“Not sulking.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“A tour,” Soundwave said, slightly louder than their bickering. “Questions, also to be answered. If you wish.”

“Questions?” Sunstreaker echoed.

“You for us,” Soundwave clarified.

Sideswipe looked at Sunstreaker who looked back at him. They both shrugged. Sideswipe didn’t have any immediate questions, save the obvious one, but it wasn’t a question Soundwave could answer with words. Were they safe? Was their kindness truly free?

“Sure,” Sideswipe said.

“Sideswipe’s hip,” Sunstreaker said with a frown. He narrowed his eyes at Sideswipe. “You’re okay to walk?”

Sideswipe arched a feathery brow at his twin. “I could win a fight right now. I’ve done it before, remember?” He’d been in worse states and still come out victorious.

Sunstreaker scowled. “I remember.” He mulishly shoved a huge chunk of muffin into his mouth and his head feathers flicked with irritation.

Oh, boy. Sideswipe would be paying for that reminder later.

“I’ll be fine,” Sideswipe said to the others. He leaned over, peering into Frenzy’s cup. “What’re you drinking?” It smelled bitter.

“Coffee.” Frenzy offered the cup. “Wanna try?”

Sideswipe’s nose wrinkled, but he promised himself he’d try new things, so he took the cup and gave it a little sip. Oof. It was definitely bitter, but it was also warm. He couldn’t decide if he liked it or not.

He gave the cup back.

Frenzy chuckled and handed him something else. A little jug? “This is just water. Promise.”

Water washed away the taste of the coffee. So did a handful of blackberries. Sideswipe gave the bottle to Sunstreaker and let him drink, too. Sunstreaker sipped daintily as he plucked bits of crumb from his feathers and flicked them away.

He could be adorable when he wasn’t being a jerk.

Ravage drifted away on silent feet. Buzzsaw climbed up into his nook and pulled out a book; Sideswipe watched him for a long moment. Neither he nor Sunstreaker could read. He wondered if there was any point to it.

Frenzy and Rumble went next, Soundwave with a reminder for Frenzy to stop by the clinic and check-in with Ratchet. Rumble promised he’d do it. Frenzy grumbled but let himself be pulled out by his twin.

Laserbeak started to clean up the breakfast detritus, and Sideswipe offered to help her, because the way she smiled at him in thanks was worth it.

“Frenzy and Rumble fetched it from the dining room this morning, but we’ll keep the leftovers in our pantry,” Laserbeak explained as she directed Sideswipe where to put the extra fruits and muffins and jars in the pantry.

The sight of so much food surprised Sideswipe. Their owners had fed them, to be fair, because well-fed fighters fought better than malnourished ones, but their food intake had been carefully moderated, and food could be withheld as punishment. Especially if they lost.

“If you’re hungry, take whatever you want,” Laserbeak said.

“Anytime I want?” Sideswipe asked.

“Yep!”

Damn.

After that, it was time for the tour. Laserbeak scuttled up to Soundwave’s right shoulder, and they led the way, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker following suit. They’d already seen several areas of the aerie when they first arrived, but hadn’t been in much of a state to take in details.

It was different now.

Harpies of all shapes and sizes moved around the floors, chattering to each other, clearly in the middle of duties or hobbies or simply living their lives. Laserbeak chattered, with Soundwave occasionally interjecting corrections or comments, and Sideswipe took special note of the places he’d like to explore later -- namely the dojo.

He liked to fight. He just didn’t like being forced to do it to survive.

There’d been a few harpies already in the dojo. One of them Sideswipe recognized -- the one who’d been carrying a sword. Sideswipe couldn’t remember his name. Sideswipe had never fought with a weapon before -- only his talons and his teeth -- but he was curious about the sword.

The harpy -- Sideswipe swore it started with a ‘D’ -- noticed them hovering in the doorway. He sheathed his sword and approached with a big smile.

“Welcome to Kaon,” he said. “I don’t know if you remember, but I’m Drift.”

“Sideswipe.” He pointed to his twin. “Sunstreaker.” He eyed the sword at Drift’s hip. “You really fight with that?”

Drift rested his hand on the hilt. “I do.” His gaze passed from Sideswipe to Sunstreaker. “Could teach you, if you want?”

“Really?” Sideswipe grinned, ear to ear. “Yeah, I’d want that.”

Drift chuckled. “I’ll figure out a good time and let you know then.” He looked at Sunstreaker. “Do you want to learn, too?”

“No.” Sunstreaker stepped closer to Sideswipe, putting a hand on his shoulder. There was a slightest tug, as if he was trying to pull Sideswipe back.

Someone was feeling possessive.

“Fair enough. Let me know if you change your mind,” Drift said. He waved goodbye and joined the other two harpies in the room, who had just finished sparring.

Sideswipe sighed and gave Sunstreaker a look. “I want to learn swords, not kiss him.”

Sunstreaker scowled. “Yeah, but does he know that?”

“Drift’s mated,” Laserbeak piped up, her legs swinging to and fro. “He and Perceptor have been together for a long time.”

Some of the tension left Sunstreaker, but his hand still didn’t vanish from Sideswipe’s shoulder. Instead, it slid down his arm and wrapped around his hand, tangling their fingers together.

“Whatever,” Sunstreaker said.

“He loves me,” Sideswipe joked.

“We’ll take you to meet Perceptor. Won’t we, Soundwave?” Laserbeak asked.

“Of course.”

Perceptor, as it turned out, was a large harpy with dark red feathers and accents of gray and black. He wore a pair of glasses, primly perched on the end of his nose, and they found him in the library -- books and scrolls neatly stacked on shelves built into the walls of the nest.

He had about a million questions, but he talked too fast for either Sideswipe or Sunstreaker to understand most of it. But he was friendly and he smiled, and offered to teach them to read, if they wanted, when he caught both of them staring at the books with interest. The library smelled weird, and Sideswipe figured it was all the paper and ink making that smell.

Sideswipe agreed and bullied Sunstreaker into agreeing, too.

Outside the library, they ran into a large harpy of blue and red and white, who gave them a gentle, warm smile that instantly put Sideswipe at ease, Sunstreaker less so. Anyone who smiled seemed to get Sunstreaker riled.

He introduced himself as Orion Pax, and it wasn’t until he mentioned he was mated to another bara named Shockwave that Sunstreaker relaxed. Which then meant Sideswipe had to ask what a ‘bara’ was.

Bara, apparently, was the harpy word for the larger, more muscular harpies. He and his twin were smols, because they were prettier and smaller. But Laserbeak and Buzzsaw and Frenzy and Rumble weren’t smols, even though they were small. They were another type of harpy altogether.

It made Sideswipe’s head hurt.

Orion offered to teach them about the different harpy cultures, but neither Sideswipe nor Sunstreaker were particularly interested. Especially since Kaon seemed to have a culture all their own. Fortunately, Orion wasn’t offended.

They met several others, too.

Sunstreaker did not like Whirl, by the way, even if Whirl did have an adorable little bitlet clinging to him. Something about Whirl rubbed Sunstreaker the wrong way.

He did, however, seem deeply taken by Tracks. They babbled for over five minutes about colors and paints, and Sunstreaker walked out of Mirage and Tracks’ nest with a handful of colored pencils and some paper. Sideswipe couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his twin so animated.

A show of delight which was immediately eclipsed when Soundwave and Laserbeak took them to the ground floor and the hot springs, the damp heat making their feathers fluff as the wet, mineral scent filled their noses. Sunstreaker’s eyes grew wide. Sideswipe immediately dipped a talon into the nearest pool, testing the temperature.

Baths were meant to be warm?

“Take as long as you want,” Laserbeak told them as Soundwave offered a small basket filled with soaps and oils and little picks -- for the stubborn feathers. “You can remember the way back to the nest, can’t you?”

“I remember,” Sideswipe said, because Sunstreaker was too busy opening each little jar and package, smelling the contents one by one.

“Meet us for lunch, okay?” Laserbeak said, but Sideswipe leaned over his brother’s shoulder, hooking his chin on it, peering into the basket.

“Good stuff?” he asked.

“Smell this.” Sunstreaker waved a bottle under his nose, and the scent of rich earth and green things teased Sideswipe’s nose.

“I like that.”

“Me, too.” Sunstreaker touched each bottle gently, with wonder, like he couldn’t believe how lucky they were.

Sideswipe felt it, too. He sat on the edge of the small pool in the corner, as close to private as could be found in the hot springs, not that he and Sunstreaker were particularly shy. They’d gotten used to having an audience for everything.

Everything.

He dipped his feet into the water first, and groaned as the heat eclipsed him. It felt so good. He didn’t wait for Sunstreaker. He slipped all the way in, the pool deep enough that it came to mid-torso. He found a shelf under the surface and sat down, now buried up to his shoulders.

“Oh, Sunny, you gotta try this,” he said as he closed his eyes.

“I’m coming. Hold on.” Sunstreaker set the basket aside, within reach, and joined Sideswipe in the water, his eyes getting bright and delighted. “Ohh, it’s so warm.”

“I know. I could get used to this,” Sideswipe said as he sank down, until the bottom of his chin brushed the surface of the water.

Sunstreaker sank entirely below, and then surfaced, shaking his head to clear away the dribbles of water. “But what is it going to cost?”

“Nothing. If you believe them.”

“Do you?”

Sideswipe pressed his lips together. At the moment, yes, but he suspected their kindness would only go so far. How long would it take before they started slipping in the demands?

“Maybe,” Sideswipe said. “And maybe I wouldn’t mind so much what we have to do to keep it, you know? Soundwave would probably be nice.”

“Nice,” Sunstreaker echoed. He gave Sideswipe a sidelong look, frowning as he eyed Sideswipe’s hip through the water. “I’ll do it. You need to heal.”

"I don't want--"

"Next time, it can be you," Sunstreaker said as he closed his eyes and leaned against the side of the pool, as if the decision had been made. "Right now, you heal."

Sideswipe sighed. "Fine. Will you at least pass me the soap?"

"Deal."

~

Sunstreaker was not nervous.

He did not trust this aerie. He did not trust the harpies here. He did not trust Soundwave or the various siblings, and he only trusted Laserbeak as far as he could throw her. Granted, that was a fair distance.

Sunstreaker trusted no one and nothing but Sideswipe. He did, however, believe Soundwave might be gentle.

He could do this. For Sideswipe, he'd do anything.

They returned to the nest, clean for the first time in a long time. Genuinely clean. Sunstreaker felt clean all the way to the roots of his feathers, like years of dirt and grime had been scrubbed away. He swore Sideswipe was more vibrant now. They acquired many interested looks.

Sunstreaker ignored them all.

Soundwave and Laserbeak were the only ones present, as far as Sunstreaker could tell. The other nooks were empty. So he looked at Sideswipe with a nod, and they parted, Sideswipe beelining for Laserbeak, currently tucked up in her nook with string tangled around her fingers.

This left Soundwave to Sunstreaker. Soundwave who currently sat at his desk, lower mask removed but visor in place, the flats of his fingers moving over a book with dots all over the pages. His head turned toward Sunstreaker's approach, however, attention granted.

"We should go for a walk," Sideswipe was saying in the background.

Sunstreaker took in a breath and moved closer to Soundwave, gently resting a hand on his shoulder, sliding it across to just behind his neck. "Thanks for the bath," he said.

Soundwave went as still as stone beneath him. "No need for thanks."

"Always need for thanks," Sunstreaker said, and took in a deep breath, leaning closer, invading Soundwave's space. "I will thank you. I will pay."

Soundwave moved faster than Sunstreaker knew he was capable, skittering away from Sunstreaker, the stool thudding to the floor behind him. There was the distance of several paces between them in an instant, and Soundwave's lower mask clicked into place. Sunstreaker hadn’t even seen him grab it.

"No," Soundwave said.

"What? What happened?" Laserbeak asked.

Soundwave, however, shook his head sharply, and the burn of his pale eyes was visible through the narrow slits in the mask. "No pay. Never." He sucked in a heavy breath, hand cutting through the air. "Never," he repeated, and then he turned and walked out of the room, the curtain swishing shut heavily behind him.

Sunstreaker's hand was still outstretched, it had happened so quickly. He lowered it to his side, staring blankly where Soundwave had been, the stool yet toppled.

"What happened?" Laserbeak demanded as she came running over, her face creased with worry and confusion.

"No pay," Sunstreaker echoed. "Never." He looked over his shoulder as Sideswipe approached, and there was an odd, tight feeling in his chest. "He said 'never'."

Sideswipe chewed on his bottom lip. "You think he meant it?"

"Yeah." Sunstreaker smoothed down his feathers from where they'd started to rise. "Yeah, I do."

"Wait. Pay?" Laserbeak asked. With a grunt of effort, she righted the stool and climbed up onto it, a little taller now. "Did you try to pay him? What did you do?"

Sideswipe rubbed the back of his neck. "It's how it works, right?" he asked, exchanging another glance with Sunstreaker. "You give us food, shelter, a bath. We pay you back. But this is all we have." He gestured to his body. "It's all we've ever had."

Laserbeak's eyes went big and round. "Oh, no," she said, shaking her head furiously. "No, no, no. It's free, you understand? Free! You don't have to pay anything." Her hands twisted and tangled together. "And you definitely don't have to pay that."

"It's what we know," Sideswipe said. His shoulders slumped. "Um, sorry."

Laserbeak's lower lip wobbled. She gave them such a sad look, Sunstreaker felt the urge to scoop her up into a hug just to make it go away.

"Soundwave would never make you do that, or ask you to," Laserbeak said. "I promise." She paused and took in a deep breath. "Can I tell you a story?"

Sunstreaker looked at Sideswipe who nodded. "Sure," Sideswipe said.

"Soundwave's not really my brother," Laserbeak said after a moment. Her fingers tangled together until she forced them apart and brushed her palms down her thighs. "Buzzsaw's my only real brother. Soundwave adopted us, and everyone else became our brother, but that doesn't matter, okay? He's still my family. He's my brother."

Sunstreaker's forehead wrinkled. Who was he to argue otherwise? They were siblings, they were related. It wasn't really a story though.

"You said he saved you, didn't you?" Sideswipe asked, and his voice was the gentlest Sunstreaker had ever heard it.

Laserbeak nodded. "He did." She chewed on the inside of her cheek and then pointed to her throat. "He got those scars when he saved us from the humans. He saw they had us, and he saved us, and they almost killed him. If not for Liege Megatron, they might have done it." She shivered, feathers drooping.

Sideswipe moved before Sunstreaker could, scooping Laserbeak into his arms. She startled before she grinned and hugged him back, her head feathers twitching with delight.

"See! Just like that!" she said as she looked up at Sideswipe and then looked back at Sunstreaker. "He's never asked for anything either. He just loves us and takes care of us, and that's all he wants."

Sunstreaker didn't think anyone existed who was that nice. Honestly, he didn't know nice people existed. It didn't make sense. Why do something for nothing?

"Sorry," Sideswipe said, while Sunstreaker chewed on that revelation. "We didn't know. We don't know either. That, paying, is all we know."

"Well, now you can know something else!" Laserbeak said, beaming a smile at them. "And don't just listen to me. You can ask Buzzsaw, too. Or Frenzy and Rumble. He adopted them into the family, too." She scampered up Sideswipe's chest to perch on his shoulder, like she did for Soundwave. "Ask anyone in the aerie you want."

Sunstreaker gnawed on his lip. "It doesn't make sense. For free? There has to be something."

"Well, everybody helps," Laserbeak pointed out, making a big gesture to the aerie as a whole. "You can clean or cook or gather or whatever. You help, but you don't pay. Understand?"

"Helping is paying?" Sideswipe asked, cocking his head.

"Um. Kind of? But you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. It's all volunteer," Laserbeak said. "Do you know what that means?"

It was an unfamiliar word no matter how she phrased it, in human-tongue or harpy-language. Sunstreaker shook his head, and Sideswipe did, too.

Laserbeak swung her feet. "It means that you do it if you want to. If you want to help, or if you like doing it, you say you will, and no one tells you that you have to."

"We help," Sideswipe said.

"We help to pay," Sunstreaker agreed.

That didn't sound too bad. It at least made more sense than getting something for nothing. So if they helped out the aerie by doing chores, they were paying for their food and shelter.

"Okay," Sideswipe said. "We understand."

Laserbeak beamed. "Good." She kissed Sideswipe on the cheek. "Now could you please let Soundwave know you understand so he doesn't worry?"

Sunstreaker nodded in tandem with his twin. "Promise," they said.

Laserbeak beamed.

***