[TF] Scars of Yesterday - 14

[dracoqueen22]

Scars of Yesterday
Chapter Fourteen

Soundwave woke to fire in his veins, and a raging, desperate need clawing at the inside of his belly. He bit his tongue on a groan, while the weight of warm bodies wrapped around him was too much to ignore. He could smell them, their arousal simmering beneath the surface, the distinct scents of potential mate, and it made his mouth water.

He held himself utterly still, eyes squeezed shut, as he fought to master his body, to push down the need storming through his veins. He would not rut against the nearest bit of warmth like some animal. He was in control of himself.

Part of him wanted to linger in the cuddle pile. It was warm and comfortable, more so with Sideswipe and Sunstreaker in his arms. He was half-buried beneath the former, who had apparently crawled over him during the night, while Sunstreaker had burrowed into his side, nose tucked against his shoulder. The quiet peace surrounding them was a soothing relief.

He imagined waking like this every day, and it sent a pang of longing through his body so fierce that his chest ached. This was nothing more than a shameful indulgence. No matter how comfortable he was, he couldn’t deny his body’s needs for much longer. Not with the steadily rising lust from the flock around him.

Thank Adaptus the entire flock didn’t go into heat at once, or Soundwave doubted he’d be able to maintain his sanity.

He eased out from beneath Sideswipe, gently tilting the smol into his brother’s embrace, the two reaching for each other and tangling together without much urging on Soundwave’s part. Like Frenzy and Rumble, they always sought each other.

He rose from the clump of his family -- Ravage had already departed, probably to tend to his own needs -- and eased away from the flock-wide cuddle. The gathering had been gradually shrinking overnight, to no surprise, and Soundwave managed not to step on anyone as he made his escape.

Megatron was still present, though judging by the growing spikes of lust in Rodimus, it would not be for much longer.

Soundwave's own need made itself known with a hot cramp through his lower extremities, so he rushed off to the private nest reserved for his use. It was tucked away near the hot springs, along with the rooms they used for the rare visiting harpy -- and the Raptors -- and was available for anyone to use should the need arise.

Soundwave was probably the only one who used one of the spare nests during mating season, however. No one else in the Aerie shared a nest with kin of a certain age, and had a need for the same kind of privacy.

He'd had the good sense to be prepared. There was food and water, an abundance of pillows, and several items to make the rut progress smoothly. Some had been discreetly purchased with Perceptor's assistance, others acquired from passing traders who were eager to do business with anyone, so long as they had the funds.

Soundwave had more than enough to keep himself occupied.

He closed the curtain behind him, pinning it in place. It would not keep out the determined, of course, but there was no one so rude in the entire Aerie, and if anyone should dare, Megatron would have them expelled within a corebeat. Soundwave was safe.

He dropped to his knees in the middle of the nest, a shudder rippling across his body. The smell of his own arousal was thick in the room, and he pressed the heel of his hand over his groin, exhaling noisily as his clava pulsed and slick dampened his palm.

Soundwave pressed hard to his antrum, heel firm against his clitnub, and gasped at the hot flash of pleasure shooting through his body. He sagged into the pillows, a suffocating heat wrapping around him. He rubbed himself harder, fumbling for his favorite of the carved false clava, his antrum clenching down on nothing, an ache of emptiness deep inside him.

He was burning up, but cold against his back, against his front. His teeth ached, and he longed to press against another, to breathe in their arousal, to feel the warmth of their touch.

He fumbled at his mask and visor, tearing them off, throwing them aside, clattering as they hit the wall. Cooler air rushed against his bared face, and he thought of kisses, soft and sweet. Lips on his, a tongue daring to touch his, and gentle brushes of a mouth over his scars.

Soundwave’s knees wobbled. More slick gushed from him, wetting his thighs and his hand. He pressed harder on his clitnub, until he saw stars, and only then did he spread his thighs, make room to nudge the false clava between his legs. He did not waste time with teasing, as he might when self-pleasuring for the sake of it.

Instead, he nudged the thick, wooden head against his swollen center and pushed, groaning long and low as it slid into him, ridged and grinding along every sensitive ripple of flesh within him.

He thought again of kisses. Of warm arms embracing him from behind, and a warmer body pressed to his front. He thought of a true clava pushing into him, the heat and heft of it, while someone breathed against his throat, hot and wet. Soundwave trembled as he pushed the toy deeper, until the heel of his palm could rest against his clit-nub while he clamped down on the toy, riding its ridges. Stars burst behind his eyes, clenched shut, and he groaned through gritted teeth, shaking at the intensity of his need.

In his fantasies, there were warm hands and clever fingers. There was a shape beneath him, bucking up and pushing deep. There was a shape behind him, pressed to his back, teeth against his shoulder, wet heat exhaling against his ear. There was a rumble of approval, a teasing glance of another hand over the head of his clava.

Soundwave curled forward, forehead pressed to the pillows, a low whine in the back of his throat. He pressed harder against his clitnub, squeezed down, circled his hips. There was a croon in his ears, and the voice was a pleasant, even timber. No accent, a bit stilted, as if uncertain of the words, the pronunciation, but determined nonetheless.

“Beautiful,” they whispered. “Come for us, Soundwave.”

Us.

Soundwave choked as he spilled, violent tremors wracking his body, sacrificing a pillow to the horrified clutch of his talons as Sunstreaker’s voice poured into his ear. And if Fantasy-Sunstreaker were behind him, it could only be Fantasy-Sideswipe beneath him, the dark shape turning sunbright and crimson, a warm swell of affection and approval.

He came harder than he had in his entire life, the echoes of it pulsing through his entire body as his core raced and his antrum throbbed around the clit-nub.

Beautiful-Beautiful-Beautiful. It echoed in his mind, first Sunstreaker’s voice, then Sideswipe’s over and over. Tears leaked from the corners of Soundwave’s eyes as shame crept in on the coattails of the ecstasy.

He sagged into the pillows, thighs wet, antrum still clamped on the false clava. Little tremors shook his body, but his mind was elsewhere. He was wet and sticky, and he’d come to the thought of his wards. To Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. He was supposed to be protecting them, not thinking of them as sexual partners. He was responsible for their safety, for their comfort.

He’d earned their trust! And to abuse it in such a manner, it was unconscionable.

Soundwave curled into himself, pulling a clean pillow over his face to muffle the stench of his pleasure, of his spill.

Was he so lonely and so desperate he’d latched on to the nearest pair of pretty wings? Perhaps that was to blame. Perhaps this was his body’s way of telling him that his solitude was not healthy, and he needed to seek other outlets. Drift and Perceptor were always willing. There were other harpies who could be trusted to see to Soundwave’s needs without forming an attachment.

Soundwave did not need to latch on to his wards. He should not latch on to his wards. He should protect them, watch over them, and make sure that if they did decide to bring someone into their relationship, it was a harpy more suitable. Certainly not a harpy who was likely twice their age and came with an unreasonable amount of baggage.

They deserved so much more.

Soundwave gnawed on his bottom lip until he tasted blood, the scent of it thick on his tongue. Only then did he lift the pillow so he could attend to himself, the mess between his thighs, the clava still firmly ensconced in his antrum. He withdrew it, setting it on a towel to be cleaned, the evidence of his shame clinging stickily to the polished wood.

He had one, maybe two more days of this, and then Soundwave would be able to return to his duties. He could focus on those instead, as he was quite sure Megatron would have his hands full with Rodimus’ heat. Soundwave would be quite busy managing the flock in Megatron’s absence.

Afterward, well, a conversation with Megatron needed to be had. The Twins had their own space, but perhaps one further from Soundwave would be more appropriate. They should also be told to consider someone else to look after them, if Megatron felt they needed to remain wards. As far as Soundwave was concerned, they had settled in quite nicely and no longer needed someone within reach.

They were due their complete privacy and autonomy.

Two more days, Soundwave resolved as his clava twitched and his antrum grew slick with heat once more. He would do his best to keep them far from his thoughts, and as soon as possible, he would do what was right.

They deserved it and so much more.

They deserved the world.

~

Sideswipe groaned.

Everything hurt. His feet hurt. His ass hurt. His feathers hurt, and he didn't know his feathers could hurt.

He reached out with a shaky hand, fumbled some water and gulped it down. He drained half the skin in record time and tossed it at Sunstreaker's chest.

"Drink," he said.

Sunstreaker grunted and fumbled at the leather skin, struggling to get the cap back off. "This is the worst."

"Tell me about it," Sideswipe said, letting his eyes drift shut. "Sunstreaker, I love you, but if you so much as reach for my dick right now, I'm going to bite your nose off."

"Clava."

"Whatever it is, don't fucking touch it," Sideswipe said with a sigh, though a part of him died at the idea that he, for once, had finally had enough.

How long had it been? At least three days, maybe more. They didn't have a window in their private space, so it was hard to keep track of the time. Sideswipe only really remembered the hunger -- for Sunstreaker, for water, for food. Over and over and over.

"Yeah, well, my antrum doesn't want anything to do with you either. Or my clava," Sunstreaker grumbled as he finished off the water skin and tossed it toward the pile of other emptied containers.

One of them would have to leave and fetch them more supplies. They hadn't accumulated nearly enough. They'd severely underestimated how feeling safe would affect the length of their rut.

Sunstreaker rolled over to cuddle against Sideswipe's side, and it was so darned cute, he didn't protest, even if he was over-hot and very sticky and could use a bath. Cuddly Sunstreaker was too rare for Sideswipe to miss. He nuzzled against his brother's head, greedily inhaling the familiar scent of his twin.

They lapsed into a comfortable quiet. Surely the Aerie was up and about this morning, but tucked into their smaller room, Sideswipe could hear very little. It was kind of nice, and way better than the constant noise of their prison. The first night he slept without waking to every little creak was a miracle.

"Wonder where Soundwave went?" Sideswipe mused aloud. Waking this morning to find that Soundwave had gone, leaving them with the siblings had been a bit of a surprise.

He hadn't had time to think on it until now. Not long after he and Sunstreaker woke, they'd had to retreat back to their private room because the rut had swallowed them. As it was, they'd nearly put on a show for anyone who'd woken in the foyer.

"Somewhere private with someone else probably," Sunstreaker said with a wide yawn. "He smelled like he was getting close to rut."

Sunny did always have a keener nose than him. Sideswipe hadn't even noticed.

An unexpected tug of jealousy clenched in Sideswipe's chest. "Um, who do you think he's with?"

Sunstreaker went oddly still in his arms, the idle stroking through Sideswipe's head feathers coming to a stop. "Dunno," he said, tone carefully light. "Drift and Perceptor maybe. You know how they are."

Sideswipe managed a chuckle. "Yeah. You think so?"

"Could be." Sunstreaker started stroking the longer feathers on his crown again. "Or he could be alone. Ratchet says some harpies do that."

Sideswipe hoped so. And he didn't. This was really rough, and he didn't want to think about Soundwave going through it alone, but he also didn't want to think about Soundwave doing it with someone else.

He kind of wanted Soundwave to be theirs.

"Hey," Sideswipe said as he sat up and Sunstreaker slipped to drape across his lap. "Remember we said we wanted to go through this together, and then talk about other stuff after?"

Sunstreaker blinked up at him, still adorable despite how exhausted he looked. "I remember." He pushed himself upright, shoving some of the soiled bedding out of the way. "Is that where you're going with all this talk of Soundwave?"

Sideswipe scratched at the corner of his nose. "I mean, I want him. Don't you?"

"You know I do," Sunstreaker grumbled, absurdly shy. He scooted away to dig through their basket of supplies. "He's... nice."

Sideswipe raised his feathery eyebrows. "He's nice? That's the only reason you can come up with? There are lots of nice harpies around here if that's all you're looking for in someone."

Sunstreaker shot him a scowl. "You know what I mean." He tossed a wrinkly apple at Sideswipe, who fumbled on the catch. "I'm not interested in adding just anyone to us. I don't want anyone else."

"Except Soundwave," Sideswipe said.

Sunstreaker sighed and scuttled back through their nest to cuddle up to Sideswipe's side with an orange in hand, one talon already piercing the rind. "What the fuck? I thought you wanted him, too."

"I do. It's just..." Sideswipe leaned in, knocking his head on Sunstreaker's shoulder. "Not if it's going to mess us up."

"It won't. So long as we agree," Sunstreaker said with much more confidence than Sideswipe had ever gotten out of him before. "Soundwave's the only one I'd trust with you." He flicked away several curls of peel, the sweet citrusy scent filling their room.

“Ditto.” Sideswipe turned his head, burying his face against the crook of his twin’s neck. “He makes me feel safe in the way I thought only you could do. You’re right. It’s… nice.”

Sunstreaker hummed his agreement and offered Sideswipe a slice of the orange, pressing it to his lips. “It would kind of be nice to be part of a family for once, too. Laserbeak would be thrilled, too, I think.”

Sideswipe nommed the orange, less careful of the juice than he should have been. Eh, they needed a bath anyway. “I think she’s already adopted us, Sunny.”

“Yeah, but…” Sunstreaker sighed and mumbled around a mouthful of orange, “Wanna be part of Soundwave’s family, too.”

“Me, too,” Sideswipe said. He lifted his head and crammed half the apple into his mouth. “He needs someone to take care of him. He works too hard.”

Sunstreaker tossed the rest of the peel back toward the now-empty basket. “What do we know about caring for people? It’s not like we’ve had the best role models.”

“We know enough!” Sideswipe said, indignant. “We know to make sure he eats and sleeps and all that. He doesn’t ever rest, Sunny. He just runs himself ragged, and then he looked after us, too. Even when he didn’t have to.”

“I’m not saying I don’t want to, I’m just saying…” Sunstreaker shrugged and picked at his talons, scraping bits of rind from beneath the blunted tips. “He might not want us, you know. There are lots of better choices in this Aerie.”

Well.

Sideswipe supposed Sunstreaker had a point. But also, if Soundwave had wanted anyone else in the Aerie, wouldn’t he have done that by now? Sideswipe hadn’t gotten so much as a whiff of interest between Soundwave and anyone else.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go get washed up. We’re both filthy.”

Sunstreaker reared back, his ears flattening against the side of his head. “While everyone in the Aerie is still in rut? Are you crazy? The baths are going to be a nightmare.”

Sideswipe rolled to his feet and grabbed his brother’s wrists, hauling him up. “Remember? Ratchet said there are two places people aren’t allowed to rut: the baths and the kitchens. We might run across some occupied alcoves, but no one will be fucking in the baths.”

Suspicion still darkened his brother’s eyes. “Are you sure? I don’t want us to get kicked out if I have to kill someone so they don’t touch you.”

It said something about Sideswipe that the muttered threat made his chest throb with affection. “I’m sure.” He grabbed his brother’s hand, towing Sunstreaker toward the door. “Besides, Ratchet also said we could attack anyone who didn’t respect our ‘no’. We won’t get in trouble for defending ourselves.”

“I hope so,” Sunstreaker said, his voice rich with doubt.

“Your lack of faith in my memory wounds me,” Sideswipe said as he swept back the curtain and pulled Sunstreaker into the corridor. The end where they and Soundwave’s family slept was always quiet, but it seemed even more so now.

Sideswipe knew Frenzy and Rumble were using one of the unoccupied rooms on the first floor for their rut, and he didn’t know where Ravage was, except probably not in the family nest. Laserbeak and Buzzsaw, as Laserbeak explained in excruciating detail, did not go into rut.

Sideswipe swore Laserbeak didn’t have a single ounce of shame in her entire body.

Still.

He peered around the curve in the corridor that kept Soundwave’s nest mostly isolated, and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it was empty. No one was out and about, and judging by the thin streams of light peeking through the canopy over the atrium, it was very early in the morning. Any harpy still caught up in the rut was probably asleep.

“Wanna walk or jump?” Sideswipe asked as he peered over the railing into the atrium.

Three floors below, the foyer was deserted, though he could just see the shapes of the front guard near the main doors -- Whirl, he thought, rubbing sleep from his eyes. And another harpy whose name Sideswipe couldn’t recall.

“Jump.” Sunstreaker’s shoulders hunched, and he kept glancing over their shoulder as if some amorous harpy were going to leap out of the shadows with their clava extended and ready to poke.

Which.

Well.

They might. Sideswipe didn’t know everyone in the Aerie, and he really only had Ratchet and Megatron’s assurance that every resident here was good folk.

“Jump it is,” Sideswipe said, leaping over the railing and extending his arms to slow his descent, gliding down to the first floor and landing with ease. He’d had a lot of practice.

Sunstreaker landed behind him and immediately scuttled back into arm’s reach. Evidence of the festivities from a few days prior still hung around the foyer -- a few abandoned decorations, a table that had yet to be stowed, the dais still constructed. Sideswipe supposed they’d get to it when most of the Aerie wasn’t down for the count with their heat.

There wasn’t anyone around to bother them.

Except for Starscream.

Sideswipe blinked as he caught Starscream inching toward one of the smaller exits off to the side of the baths. It was meant to be more of an emergency egress if, say, the Aerie caught fire or something. Funny, Sideswipe didn’t smell smoke.

“What’s he doing?” Sunstreaker asked.

“Dunno,” Sideswipe said. He grinned and waggled his eyebrows. “We should ask.” He held up a hand and strode forward. “Hey, Starscream. Nice to see you up and abo-- whoa.”

Whoa indeed.

Starscream looked, plainly put, like hell. His feathers were bedraggled. He clearly hadn’t slept in a couple days, and the stench of rut still clung to him in a heavy cloud. He’d made an effort to bathe, clearly, but it hadn’t helped.

“Can I help you?” Starscream asked with the raspiest voice Sideswipe had ever heard. He sounded like he’d been gargling shattered glass for the past hour.

“You look like shit,” Sideswipe said.

“You should go see Ratchet,” Sunstreaker said.

Starscream sighed and pressed a hand to his forehead. “I am as well as can be expected given that I’m on the tail end of my heat. I don’t need Ratchet to tell me what comes next. So I repeat myself: can I help you?”

“Where are you going?” Sideswipe asked.

They’d caught Starscream with one hand on the heavy curtain concealing the emergency exit. Even now, he kept inching closer and closer to it, glancing past them toward the guards at the front.

“Out,” Starscream said.

“In the middle of your heat?” Sunstreaker gasped.

Starscream sighed again, like Ratchet in the process of dragging two of the scrapping younglings into the medical ward for treatment. “I’m more than capable of looking after myself, thank you very much. I know what I’m doing.”

“And that is…?” Sideswipe prodded.

“He’s going to see the human,” Sunstreaker muttered, but it wasn’t enough to hide the sneer.

Sideswipe reared away from Starscream, and he didn’t bother to hide his disgust. “Seriously? You’re going to spend the rest of your rut with a human?”

“Not that it’s any of your business but yes, I am,” Starscream said, drawing himself up straight, all traces of skittishness gone from his shoulders. “Blurr is important to me, and I want to be with him right now.”

It was the weirdest thing Sideswipe had ever heard. A human and a harpy? In an actual relationship?

Sideswipe exchanged a glance with his twin, but Sunstreaker shrugged. He looked as flabbergasted as Sideswipe felt.

“But he’s human,” Sideswipe said as Sunstreaker pressed against his side, resting his chin on Sideswipe’s shoulder. “You actually trust him not to hurt you?”

Starscream’s gaze softened. “I do. Blurr’s different.” He hesitated, like he couldn’t decide what he wanted to say before he settled on, “He’s what I want.”

A low clench settled in Sideswipe’s chest. He knew that feeling intimately. Everything in Starscream’s face was sincere. He loved the human, and while Sideswipe couldn’t understand why it had to be a human, he understood the intensity of emotion in Starscream’s eyes.

“We’ll cover for you,” Sunstreaker said because Sideswipe’s tongue seemed to be failing him. “Or at least tell people not to worry if someone comes looking.”

Starscream’s grin turned sly. “You are both about to become two of my favorite people,” he said with a wink. “I’ll be back in a week or so. Tell Perceptor not to fret.”

“Will do,” Sideswipe said as Starscream slipped behind the curtain and was gone.

No one seemed to have noticed. The guards were still deep in conversation – more worried about external threats than anything happening inside. Sideswipe looked at Sunstreaker who was looking back at him.

Sideswipe shrugged. “I don’t get it either. Come on, let’s get clean.”

Convincing Sunstreaker to bathe was never difficult, and lucky for both of them, the hot springs were all but deserted this early in the morning. The farthest, smallest pool was occupied by a dozing Bulkhead, who only looked at them through one eye before he closed it again.

Tension dissolved out of Sunstreaker once he realized they were all but alone, and he pulled Sideswipe to the hottest pool with eagerness in his twitching tail. By Adaptus, he was adorable sometimes.

Sideswipe sank into the pool gratefully. He might just take a nap himself if Sunstreaker let him get away with it.

“Makes you think, doesn’t it?” Sunstreaker asked as he started rifling through the basket of communal cleaning supplies, pulling out a feather brush and sniffing one of the offered soaps.

“What?”

“Starscream and that human.” Sunstreaker waded to his side, grabbed his right arm, and started working the oily soap into his feathers. “It’s kind of brave if you think about it. Going after who you want even if you know it’s kind of weird.”

“Kaon’s definitely the place for that, I hear,” Sideswipe said as he relinquished his arm. He’d long since learned not to fight it.

Sunstreaker went quiet for a moment, and Sideswipe didn’t prod at him. He could tell his twin was working through something, and it was better to let Sunstreaker do his thing at his own speed or risk prompting a sulk.

“We could do that, too,” Sunstreaker said after he’d moved on to Sideswipe’s other wing, plucking a frayed feather out in the process. “With Soundwave, I mean. It’s worth trying, isn’t it?”

Sideswipe opened his eyes and lifted his head. “And if he doesn’t want us?”

Sunstreaker gnawed on his bottom lip before he shrugged and focused on his efforts. “Then I guess we’ll all be awkward for awhile. It’s a good thing we have our own room.”

“And that’s it?” Sideswipe asked, touching the side of Sunstreaker’s face with his free hand. “You won’t be upset?”

“It’ll hurt,” Sunstreaker admitted, staring hard at the oily sheen of the soap as though it held the answers in the colorful swirls. “But I’ll still have you, and you’ll have me, and we’ll have each other and that’s all we’ve ever really needed isn’t it?”

Sideswipe tugged Sunstreaker into a kiss, throwing his arms around his twin, though he was careful to keep it chaste – how Ratchet’s grumpy growl about the rules could keep ringing in the back of his mind even when the healer wasn’t present, Sideswipe didn’t know.

“I love you,” Sideswipe said, pressing his forehead to Sunstreaker’s. They didn’t say it often because Sideswipe already knew it, and Sunstreaker did, too. But it seemed appropriate now. “And you’ll always have me.”

“Then we’re doing this?”

“We’re doing this,” Sideswipe confirmed and pecked a kiss on Sunstreaker’s cheek. “Though first we should get clean, eat, and make a plan of attack.”

Sunstreaker snorted and went back to scrubbing. “Attack? We’re not planning on taking him down in the ring.”

Sideswipe winked. “Oh, my precious sunflower. You have no idea.”

***