[TF] Scars of Yesterday - 15

[dracoqueen22]

Scars of Yesterday
Chapter Fifteen

There was so much to do.

One would think, with the rut in full swing and over half of the flock out of commission, there would be less work, but that was hardly the case. Many things still needed to be done, and now there were fewer hands to accomplish the tasks.

Yes, they did prepare ahead of time every year. They Gathered extra in the weeks leading up to the yearly, flock-wide heat. They prepared extra meals that would keep in the pantry. All linens were washed and dried. Harpies who needed privacy staked their claims on some of the unused nests. Harpies who didn’t have partners started flirting and asking around and seeing who’d like to share some non-commitment company.

And yet.

“How have we already run out of rolls?” Laserbeak chittered on his shoulder, her feathers fluffed with annoyance. Sesame rolls were her favorite, and the stockpile had been emptied.

They were only a week into the official rut. A week. Though per usual, some harpies had hit their stride sooner.

Megatron was still ensconced with Rodimus. Orion and Shockwave had excused themselves only yesterday when the flush first came upon Orion. Soundwave had checked on Frenzy and Rumble and was relieved to find them sleeping peacefully, though they still smelled strongly of their heat. He suspected they had another day left in them.

He did not know where Ravage had gone. Likely to the roof. Ravage always suffered his heats alone though there were plenty who would offer him companionship. He insisted he did not want or enjoy a ‘pity fuck’ as he called it. Regardless, Ravage had likely ended his heat even before Soundwave’s, and now kept to the roof rather than endure the scent of an Aerie in full bloom.

As for the Twins, Soundwave had not been brave enough to check on them himself. He’d sent Buzzsaw on a reconnaissance mission, for which he didn’t think his brother would ever forgive him. They were healthy, he’d grumbled, and that was all the detail Buzzsaw intended to share.

Thank Adaptus.

It was Buzzsaw’s lack of interest in details behind the reason he’d been sent instead of Laserbeak.

Still. There was so much to do and Soundwave did not have enough hands to do it all.

“We’re going to run out of towels soon,” Laserbeak said as she sat on his shoulder, paper rustling where she made notations and scribbled things from a list. “How is everyone going through so many towels? Don’t they know better than to bathe until their heat is over?”

Soundwave chuckled. Fortunately, they hadn’t had to run anyone out of the baths for inappropriate behavior this year. It seemed the threat of a Ratchet lecture – and being at Ratchet’s mercy for the resulting punishment – had caused many harpies to wisen up. Still, Soundwave added the baths into his route.

“I suspect the baths are a continuation of the rut, little one,” Soundwave said.

“Oh, I know that.” Laserbeak sniffed. “But they could stand to be a bit more considerate of the rest of us who don’t have to go through that nonsense, but do have to pull double-duty this time of year.”

“That is a fair point,” Soundwave murmured as he continued further up, to the third level now.

He would stop in and check with Ratchet, see if anyone had reported injuries or if the healer himself had finally succumbed to his heat. If so, Soundwave would have to station Buzzsaw in the infirmary to run and fetch Soundwave if there were an emergency. Soundwave was not a healer by any means, but he did keep a running tally of who was currently functional.

Perceptor could do in a pinch, but Perceptor and Drift usually had their hands full helping the unmated. Soundwave was rather certain Radiance and Windfall were in their cool down, so Radiance would be available within the next day or so.

Hopefully, Ratchet’s own heat would delay itself for another day.

“Sides! Sunny!”

Laserbeak’s excited squeak was all the warning Soundwave received before she launched from his shoulder and took off behind them. Soundwave paused and slowly turned, registering the familiar hues of the twins as they approached.

Soundwave couldn’t hide his surprise. Why were they not still in seclusion? The telltale hum of heat still clung to their auras, and as they got closer, Soundwave smelled it. Spicy-sweet. Hot.

His core stuttered through a few beats.

“Oof. Hello to you, too, little wing,” Sideswipe said as Laserbeak all but attached herself to his face. “Miss us?”

“Terribly,” Laserbeak said, deadpan. “We’ve been so awfully busy, and the Aerie is always weird this time of year. I’m bored.”

“If you’ve been busy, how can you be bored?” Sunstreaker asked, amusement thick in his voice and in vibrant rings around his head.

“It’s not the same thing!” Laserbeak cried dramatically as she draped herself across Sideswipe’s shoulder. “Soundwave has me doing paperwork. It’s the worst.”

Sideswipe chuckled.

Sunstreaker’s attention, however, focused on Soundwave as he approached, and Soundwave’s skin prickled beneath his feathers. There was intent in Sunstreaker’s gaze, for all that he was nothing more than a colorful shimmer to Soundwave’s eyes. It radiated from him in pulsing waves.

“Paperwork must be done while others are indisposed,” Soundwave reminded Laserbeak. It took all he had to keep his voice from faltering.

By Adaptus, they both smelled delicious. Warm and cozy, like Soundwave’s favorite spiced rolls, like home. Heat coiled lazily in his belly, reminding him of the heat spent disappointingly alone.

And then it was all doused in ice water when he remembered the shameful fantasies that kept him company, despite his every effort to forget them.

"And other things," Laserbeak grumped.

"Hey now, Soundwave's right," Sideswipe said with a playful little bop to the end of Laserbeak's nose. "I bet this whole place would fall apart if you two weren't around to make sure everything was going smoothly."

Laserbeak radiated pride in sunbright waves. "You have a point."

"Can we talk?" Sunstreaker asked with an intensity to match the heat in his gaze.

"If you're not too busy, we mean. Geez, Sunny. We just went through this," Sideswipe said, but now he rippled with an onslaught of emotions, too many to name -- anxiety, excitement, hunger, fear, confusion, want.

It was enough to make Soundwave dizzy.

"I--"

"He needs a break anyway," Laserbeak said before Soundwave could manage a polite refusal. "Now's a great time for us to have a talk!"

Sideswipe's quiet chuckle was affectionate. "Thank you, little wing, but this is a talk we could use a little privacy for."

Oh, Adaptus. What was wrong?

A half-dozen problems peppered the back of Soundwave's thoughts. Had he done something to offend? Had someone else offended them in the Aerie? Had someone tried to force himself on them?

Anger popped up in a sharp ripple through Soundwave's body. If anyone had tried to hurt them, there would be no mercy for the harpy. The Kaon flock knew better, should be on their best behavior Soundwave didn't care if the heat tended to make one's judgment less than exceptional.

It was not an excuse.

"--in the nest right now, so you can talk in there," Laserbeak chattered as she landed back on Soundwave's shoulder and nudged him with her wing. "I'll see you later, brother." She gave him a peck of a kiss on the cheek, and then she was gone, winging down the hall.

Presumably to find Buzzsaw?

"You're really not too busy?" Sideswipe asked.

Soundwave drew in a slow, steady breath to calm himself before the anger ruffled his feathers. "I will always have time for you," he said instead.

"Great!" Sideswipe chirped. He bounded up to Sideswipe's side, threading one arm through Soundwave's and tugging him along. "Then let's go. Come on, Sunny."

He was warm against Soundwave's side, his grip confident and affectionate. "Is there anything you need help with? Me and Sunny have free hands now."

Sunstreaker swept up to Soundwave's other side, still radiating an intensity Soundwave couldn't parse. "We help, not pay, remember?"

"I recall," Soundwave said. "Offer appreciated."

Both of them radiated anxiety now, in equal measures with anticipation. Soundwave wished he knew why, but they clearly weren't going to talk until they had some privacy. Luckily, the main nest was within reach, and Sunstreaker held open the curtain for Sideswipe to escort Soundwave inside.

"What is wrong?" Soundwave asked as the door swished shut behind them and their relative privacy was assured. "Did something happen?"

"What? No. Not at all. What makes you say that?" Sideswipe asked, giving his arm a squeeze before he released Soundwave to go stand by his brother. "Everything's fine."

Soundwave frowned behind his mask. "Anxiety sensed."

"Yeah, but you sensed other things, too, right? Isn't that how it works?" Sideswipe asked.

"Could you take off your mask?" Sunstreaker quietly asked before Soundwave could reply to Sideswipe. "It would be nice to see some of your face for this talk."

A handful of terrible scenarios continued to pop up at the back of Soundwave's mind. But he obliged their request, disengaging his mask and reaching out to set it blindly on the food bar. He kept his visor. He needed some kind of shield for what was to come as he had no idea what it could be.

"What is wrong?" Soundwave repeated.

"We're fine. I promise," Sideswipe said. He and his brother linked hands, drawing strength from each other. "We just wanted to talk to you about something important."

Both of their emotions flared, a melange of colors that made Soundwave's head ache. Their scents grew stronger, thick with the last vestiges of their heat, desire swirling about it in a unique, earthy spice.

"We like you," Sideswipe continued through the haze. "I mean, both of us do. More than just as our caretaker. More than just as friends."

"We want to be with you," Sunstreaker added, and his emotions were more urgent, more intense. They slammed against Soundwave, made him wobble on his knees.

They were so beautiful -- both of them -- their auras and their emotions. Soundwave had been told they were beautiful to look at as well, but he could only see the shape of them. Their love for each other was a shining beacon.

"Be with me," Soundwave repeated, struggling to focus on the conversation because they were closer now, more intoxicating. He could feel their heat radiating against his body, their smell invading every bit of his nasal passages.

"Yeah," Sideswipe said, and he was close enough to touch, though Soundwave didn't dare. It seemed Sideswipe did, however, because his hands cupped Soundwave's cheeks ever so gently. "Like you, and me, and Sunny, altogether in a big nest somewhere. Doing things like... like this."

This, apparently, being Sideswipe rising a little higher and pressing his mouth to Soundwave's, his lips soft and a bit swollen from his and Sunstreaker's several days worth of rutting. He tasted sweet and spicy, like heat and affection and home, and a shudder ran through Soundwave's body.

He wanted to take Sideswipe into his arms and thoroughly kiss him. He wanted to grab Sunstreaker -- hovering within arm's reach -- and pull the other twin toward him as well, kiss Sunstreaker until he was dazed and satisfied. He wanted to push both Sideswipe and Sunstreaker into the nest behind them, blanket them with his body, and lay kisses all over them. To nestle between their thighs until they made those sweet cries of satisfaction.

He wanted them with a deep, deep throb through his entire body, one that flushed a desperate heat in a stark reminder that though he was functional, like everyone else in the Aerie -- Soundwave's heat technically lasted two weeks.

And so did theirs.

Rationality returned in a sharp flash.

He was kissing Sideswipe. One of his wards. Someone who trusted him. Someone who wasn't in a state of mind to make an educated decision right now. Neither he nor Sunstreaker knew what they were doing, and Soundwave was taking advantage of that.

No. Not again. This couldn’t be happening.

This couldn’t happen.

Soundwave jerked back, breaking out of Sideswipe’s embrace. “No,” he said, shaking his head sharply. “You don’t have to– It’s not– I can’t–” Words tumbled out of his lips, and he wasn’t even sure which of his refusals he needed to focus on.

Flee! His instincts told him. Flee before he did something to ruin their trust, something he’d regret for the rest of his life.

Soundwave turned and headed for the nearest exit – not the door because they were between him and it, but the balcony. He had to get away before the temptation overwhelmed him. He thought they understood! They didn’t have to pay with their bodies. They didn’t owe him anything.

A tightness clawed its way into Soundwave’s chest. He leapt out of the balcony, taking flight in a mad, thoughtless scramble. Distantly, one of them shouted for him – it might have been Sunstreaker, but Soundwave didn’t look back.

He needed to clear his head, to get away from the intoxicating scents, their warmth, the thing he hadn’t realized he wanted so badly until it was there. By Adaptus, Sideswipe’s lips were perfect. He imagined Sunstreaker’s were as well.

No.

A low sound of despair escaped Soundwave before he could stop it. Imagined! The shame kept crawling up into him, clogging up his throat. He kept imagining things which weren’t his to imagine. They were not his.

He beat his wings harder, faster, pushing himself away from them, from the Aerie, toward–

Soundwave panted, his wings aching. He did not know where he was heading, and that was the only thing which gave him pause. He calmed, forcing himself to slow his flight, to orient himself. The sun was on his face. What time of day was it for the sun to be on his face? It was Spring, so the sun would be against his back if he were heading to the Aerie, right?

Where was he?

It had been a poor decision to leave without one of his siblings. Soundwave never took flights on his own. His vision was too poor for such things. He could manage an outdoor landing if he knew precisely where he was, but at the moment, he didn’t.

Oh, no.

“Soundwave!”

Frantic flapping behind him. He would have kept fleeing, save that he knew that voice – Ravage.

“Where are you going!?”

Soundwave turned sharply, and an updraft caught him in that moment, snapping against his wing. A twinge went through his left shoulder, an old injury that usually didn’t bother him, but of course chose now to reignite. He faltered, losing rhythm, and panic strobed through his chest.

He tried to correct, flinging out his wing despite the pain, but his whole arm spasmed, and he missed the updraft. He tumbled out of the sky, the wind tossing at him, his other arm extended to slow his descent before he gave up and wrapped his arms around himself, tucking in.

Crash!

Trees cushioned his fall. Soundwave tumbled down through branches flush with new growth, leaves slapping against his face, one branch knocking his visor away. The bright gleam of sunlight slashed across his eyes, and he grimaced before hitting the ground with a wet snap, air forced out of him.

Pain flashed through his body in a steady wave. His shoulder ached in a dull throb. His head spun dizzily. He squeezed his eyes shut against the too-bright sun, despite it being filtered through the leaf-heavy branches.

He hadn’t fallen from the sky since the visor had first been gifted to him decades ago. Thank Adaptus no one had seen him.

Thank Adaptus he didn’t seem to be seriously hurt.

Soundwave dragged one hand over his face, refusing to move the other arm because it throbbed with an agony that suggested his shoulder was dislocated or worse. His head spun, his face heated, and his brain decided now was the perfect time to remind him of every foolish thing he’d done in the past sixty seconds.

The rut had clearly made him stupid.

Leaves rustled overhead, too deliberate to be the wind. Soundwave squinted against a blur of green and brown and blue. A dark shape descended, glimmers of familiar emotion clinging tight to the nimble limbs.

Ravage.

“Soundwave!” he huffed as he landed nimbly on all fours, leaves and twigs crunching beneath his feet. “Please tell me you’re alive.”

“Unfortunately,” Soundwave rasped.

“Here. I found your visor on my way down.” Ravage’s hand was gentle on his, pulling it away from his face and sliding the visor into place. “It’s cracked, but it’ll do until we can get back to the aerie.”

“Thank you.” Soundwave sighed and prodded gently at his shoulder, until Ravage batted his hand away and took over.

“What were you doing flying away from the Aerie without Laserbeak or Buzzsaw anyway?” Ravage asked as he poked and prodded and ignored Soundwave’s sharp inhales and hisses.

Soundwave closed his eyes behind the visor, humiliation burning through him. Ravage was the oldest of his younger siblings, and the most adult of them. He was perhaps the only one Soundwave could discuss this with, given that Orion and Megatron were both currently indisposed.

“I was not thinking,” Soundwave admitted. “I… reacted.”

Ravage spiked with surprise. “You reacted?” His hands stilled, warm and gentle where they cradled Soundwave’s injured wing. “You don’t do that. What happened?”

Soundwave lapsed into silence, trying to put his chaotic thoughts into some semblance of order. Shame over his fantasies. Guilt over his desires. Embarrassment over his reaction. An intense and deep longing he knew he shouldn’t nurture.

Loneliness.

“This is definitely dislocated,” Ravage said quietly. He, of all Soundwave’s siblings, knew when to give Soundwave time to think. “I can relocate it, and I think I have something to bind your arm in place, but you’re not flying anytime soon.”

Soundwave sighed. “Do it.”

Ravage offered him a rather thick branch, bark scraped away and tiny twigs snapped off. “Clench down on this,” he said. “I don’t want you to bite your tongue.”

Soundwave obeyed. He and Ravage had both taken the same basic first aid class from Ratchet, who tried to get everyone in the aerie to attend. He was only one healer, he’d said, and they needed to know how to tend to their own bumps and bruises because sometimes, there were bigger emergencies.

Soundwave had been the first to show up for the lessons. He had five younger siblings. He knew he would have to deal with his fair share of injuries. He’d learned that even before leaving Crystal City with Megatron and Orion – then Optimus Prime.

Ravage’s hand rested on his upper arm and shoulder. “Ready?”

Soundwave nodded. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breathe through the dull snap of Ravage rotating, twisting, and popping his shoulder back into the socket. Sharp pain radiated through Soundwave’s shoulder, and he growled through the branch, teeth leaving imprints in the soft wood.

It was still green. He could taste the fresh growth beneath the thin layer of outer dermis. It was a birch.

He focused on the little details as stabs of ache kept radiating through his body. Ravage pinned his arm across his body, making a sling out of some twine and a few branches. He’d always been the most resourceful of Soundwave’s siblings.

“That’ll keep for now,” Ravage said. “Ratchet will have to do the rest when we get back.”

Soundwave spat out the branch and sat up with Ravage’s help, wincing as his shoulder shifted slightly from the motion. He breathed through the wave of dizziness. “Where are we?”

“The western woods, opposite of Kaon University,” Ravage said. “You really must have been in a panic. We’re several miles out. It’s going to be a long walk back.”

Soundwave sighed. “Sideswipe and Sunstreaker indicated an interest in me.”

The weight of Ravage’s spare spoke volumes. “And?”

“And it’s inappropriate,” Soundwave all but spat. He lurched to his feet but stumbled back against a tree for support as another wave of dizziness made his head spin. “I am responsible for their well being. I cannot return that interest.”

Ravage hummed a noncommittal sound. “Can’t or won’t?”

“It’s inappropriate,” Soundwave repeated as he tilted his head back against the tree and closed his eyes. He held his arm in place with his free hand and focused on breathing. “I have been kind to them. I have given them a home. I don’t need them thinking such things require reciprocation.”

“So you’re afraid they only want you because you’re the first person to be nice to them?” Ravage snorted. “If that was the case, they’d be sniffing after Laserbeak first.”

“Don’t be obtuse.”

“I’m not. That’s you.” Ravage sighed and came closer, the edges of his emotions offering a balm to the chaotic fluctuations of his own. “What did they actually say?”

Soundwave pressed his lips together, well aware that they were on full display. He’d left his mask behind.

“Let me guess. They barely said anything before you bolted out the nearest escape, which wasn’t the safe option of a door, but the open balcony.” Ravage muttered something under his breath which might have been a choice swear he’d learned from Grimlock. “You can’t see it, but we do, and the way they look at you, it’s not just gratitude, Soundwave.”

Soundwave swallowed thickly, his throat feeling like razorwire wrapped around it. Was it the emotion or too much talking? He didn’t know. “Inappropriate,” he repeated quietly.

“They have their own room. They have duties in the Aerie that have nothing to do with you. They have friends, and if anything, Ratchet’s adopted them, not you.”

Soundwave said nothing. There was heat behind his eyes, shame on his shoulders, but more than that, the reason he didn’t have to admit because morality provided a safe wall.

Ravage sighed again. “Are you still dizzy?”

“Negative.”

Ravage took the elbow of his good arm and tugged him away from the tree. “Come on. I’m sure the Aerie is this way, and we should use what daylight we have left. If we’re lucky, Laserbeak will realize you’re missing and send out a search party.”

She most certainly would.

Soundwave let Ravage take the lead, though neither of them were particularly trained in outdoor survival, or navigating through the woods. Still, the Giantwood which housed the Aerie should be visible for miles, and Ravage would be able to spot it with ease, even after dark.

“You deserve them, you know,” Ravage said after the silence had stretched from comfortable to tense. He never could let anything lie. “They want you. They want to be with you. And you deserve to be as happy as they do.”

Soundwave wished he’d kept the branch. It would at least have given him something to gnaw on, to hide his expressions.

“You can’t decide that for them,” Ravage continued, always one to poke and poke at a bruise. “Then again, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you don’t want them at all, and you’re using these excuses so you don’t have to hurt their feelings.”

He wished it were that easy. It would be so much simpler if he didn’t want them. If he didn’t think about them. If he didn’t dream about them, and wonder how it would feel to curl beside them as lovers. To wake them up with sweet kisses, and find shadowed corners to ravish them silly.

“Honestly, whatever it is you want, you need to figure it out, because taking off in the middle of a conversation is not the way to handle anything,” Ravage said, and then he at last lapsed into silence.

No more bruise to prod, Soundwave supposed.

“I will speak to them,” Soundwave said once he’d deemed sufficient time had passed, and Ravage would not gloat about his victory.

“And be honest?”

Soundwave twitched. “I–”

He tripped.

Or to be more accurate, the ground reached up and wrapped around his ankle. Ravage had been doing an excellent job steering him around obstacles and warning him for others, but somehow, he’d missed this, or it had been well hidden.

It didn’t matter.

Soundwave tripped. He tumbled forward. Ravage tried to catch him – a brave effort given their size difference.

Snap-twang!

A net rose from the leaf litter, snapping around them and launching into the air, enclosing them in a tight mesh. Their bodies collided, tangling together, and Soundwave’s much abused shoulder bitterly complained. They swayed a few feet above the ground, the net so small there was no room to move, though Ravage tried in vain to wriggle.

“I can’t believe – how the fuck – who in the–” Sputtered curses emerged from Ravage’s lips as he tried to disentangle them and find a way out of their predicament. “Do you have a knife?”

“I do not.”

“I hope Laserbeak realizes you’re missing before whoever set this trap gets back.”
Ravage growled and went still, though their trap continued to lightly sway, creaking where the net had been anchored to the trees above. “If your emotional constipation gets us both birdnapped, I will never let you forget it.”

Soundwave sighed. “Noted.”

~

Sunstreaker stared at the empty space where Soundwave had been and didn’t have a clue what should come next.

“Sides?”

“I don’t know.” Sideswipe gnawed on his bottom lip and rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you think he was rejecting us?”

Sunstreaker shook his head. “I think you scared him.”

“What? With a kiss?”

A memory surfaced, the last time Sunstreaker tried to touch Soundwave with intent. Yes, back then he’d had a misunderstanding, but Soundwave had reacted in much the same manner, an incoherent refusal followed by fleeing the room.

They’d been clearer this time, hadn’t they? Sunstreaker distinctly remembered telling Soundwave they liked him and wanted to be with him. Was this his way of turning them down?

“Well,” Sunstreaker said carefully. “It’s not like you asked first.”

“He looked like he didn’t understand what I meant!” Sideswipe spluttered, throwing his hands into the air. He stormed toward the balcony, peering out. “Damn, he’s fast. Why did he go out this way?”

Sunstreaker turned in a slow circle. “I mean, technically I was between him and the door.” He chewed on his bottom lip. “You know how it is.”

“Yeah.” Sideswipe sighed and wrapped his arms around himself. “I don’t think we should go after him. That’d probably make it worse.”

“You’d know better than me.”

“Maybe I really don’t.” Sideswipe turned back toward Sunstreaker and exhaled loudly, tipping his head on Sunstreaker’s shoulder. “I think we fucked this up, Sunny.”

“I think he doesn’t want us,” Sunstreaker said as he wrapped his arms around his twin and inhaled, drawing comfort from the familiar scent of his brother. “We should have taken a cue from the first time.”

Sideswipe made a humming noise. “That time was different.”

“Same reaction.”

Sideswipe hugged him tighter and sighed. “We’ll see. When he comes back, I guess we’ll talk from a safe distance. Clear the air.”

“Sure.” Sunstreaker knew he didn’t sound certain. They’d be lucky if Soundwave wanted to be in the same room with them after this. “What now?”

“Now we leave in case he wants to come back and have some space for himself,” Sideswipe said with a long exhale. He lifted his head, pressing a kiss to Sunstreaker’s cheek. “Come on. We should probably think about restocking our pantry.”

Yeah. It might be some time before they were welcome in Soundwave’s nest again. Laserbeak would invite them, but the last thing Sunstreaker wanted to do was intrude on Soundwave’s space when it was pretty clear he wasn’t comfortable with them there.

He took a look around the nest, with its familiar comforts and how much it radiated warmth and home. Sunstreaker wanted so much to be an official part of it, but sometimes, you didn’t get what you wanted. Besides, he had Sideswipe. That was always enough for him.

They left.

Outside, Laserbeak had been rejoined by her twin, and the two of them sat just around the corner, perched on the railing. Laserbeak’s legs were swinging, but Buzzsaw was still as stone, and looked to be half-dozing on her shoulder.

“So,” she chirped with bright eyes. “How did it go?”

So much for making a stealthy, non-embarrassing exit.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sideswipe said with false cheer. He slid his arm through Sunstreaker’s and tried to tug him past the smaller twins. “It was just a conversation.”

Laserbeak narrowed her eyes. She glanced past to them, to where Soundwave wasn’t, and in a flash leapt to her feet, causing Buzzsaw to squawk his dissatisfaction.

“What happened?” she cried, looking aghast. “I thought you three were finally getting together. That’s what the talk was about, right?”

Sunstreaker stopped moving, forcing Sideswipe to stop as well. “You knew?”

“I pay attention,” Laserbeak said with a huff, her hands on her hips. “All of us knew. Even Buzzsaw knew.”

“I knew first,” he said with a suspicion glance at both of them. “Where’s Soundwave?”

Sunstreaker quailed under the force of their gazes – it felt a lot like being set upon by Ratchet. “Gone.”

“Gone!?” Buzzsaw squawked, feathers fluffing up around him. “What do you mean gone?” He took off, launching himself toward the nest, but Laserbeak stayed behind, her eyes wide and confused.

“What happened?” she demanded. “Why is Soundwave gone? Why are you alone? Why do you look disappointed? Why do you smell upset?”

The rapid-fire questions made Sunstreaker wince, but Sideswipe had always been stronger than him. He tightened his grip on Sunstreaker’s arm and shrugged with a casual air.

“I guess Soundwave doesn’t want us,” he said. “Sorry, little wing.”

She blinked and held up her hands. “Nope. That is definitely not true.” Her eyes narrowed. “What happened?”

“He’s gone!” Buzzsaw squawked as he pelted out of the nest and flew around them in a chaotic flutter. “Soundwave’s not in the nest. He didn’t pass us. Where did he go? He’s gone.”

Sideswipe sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “We told you that?” He gave a vague wave toward the outside of the Aerie. “He took off from the balcony. I don’t know where he went.”

“The balcony!” Buzzsaw croaked and flew in an even more agitated circle. “By himself? Why would you let him do that?”

“He’s an adult. He can do whatever he wants,” Sunstreaker said defensively.

Sideswipe, however, bit his bottom lip and gave Sunstreaker a guilty look. “Maybe we should’ve gone after him.”

“And made things worse? We’re the ones he ran away from!”

“Wait,” Laserbeak said and then looked up at her brother. “Buzzsaw, for Adaptus’ sake, calm down. Ravage is on the roof, remember? He’d have seen Soundwave leave.”

Buzzsaw made a noise that could not have been polite. “I’m going to check,” he said, and took off over the railing, climbing upward, presumably to the roof.

“He’s so high-strung,” Laserbeak said with a sigh, and then she launched herself at Sunstreaker, climbing to sit on his shoulder. “Start at the beginning because something tells me none of you said what you actually needed to.”

“That’s not true!” Sideswipe protested as Sunstreaker held still so Laserbeak could get comfortable. “I kissed him and everything!”

“Not without asking first,” Sunstreaker pointed out.

Sideswipe threw his hands into the air. “He looked confused. I want to make sure he knew what we meant. It was just a kiss.”

Laserbeak hissed through her teeth and buried her face behind her hands. “Oh, you three. What am I going to do with you?”

“He probably didn’t want to kiss you at all!” Sunstreaker said with a huff. “How would you feel if someone you didn’t like kissed you out of nowhere?”

“It wasn’t out of nowhere. We were having a conversation,” Sideswipe argued.

Laserbeak made a pained noise. “I don’t know who’s worse. You two or Soundwave.” She shook her head and lowered her hands. “Soundwave wants you, but the way you two went about telling him was probably the worst way. He’s terrified of doing the wrong thing, and he’s worried you’ll think you owe him.”

“But we don’t!” Sunstreaker argued, and Sideswipe echoed him in the same moment. It was true. They didn’t think that way at all.

They understood now. They wanted Soundwave not because they thought they had to, but because they wanted to. They didn’t pay. They helped. They volunteered. They’d been here for months. They understood how the Aerie worked now.

Or at least, Sunstreaker thought they did.

“It’s not just your fault. It’s his, too,” Laserbeak said with a sigh. “He’s been telling himself how wrong and improper it is for weeks now, mostly because he doesn’t believe you two would honestly want him. Augh, he’s so frustrating.”

“Wait.” Sideswipe held up a hand and exchanged a glance with Sunstreaker, who would have shrugged if Laserbeak wasn’t on his shoulder. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. “So he… does want us?”

“Yes!” Laserbeak all but shouted, bouncing where she sat until she grabbed one of Sunstreaker’s framing feathers to stay in place. “You all want each other so much it’s nauseating.” She made a face. “Cute but still, nauseating. I’ve been waiting for one of you to say something for weeks and of course, it goes all wrong.”

Sideswipe scratched the back of his head. “Sorry?”

“Don’t be sorry. Fix it.” Laserbeak pointed at Sideswipe but her second tug on Sunstreaker’s framing feather indicated him as well. “When Ravage brings him back, you’re going to sit down and talk about it. Talk. No kissing until understanding is had. Get me?”

“Yes,” Sunstreaker said, giving Sideswipe a pointed look.

Sideswipe held up his hands. “I’ll keep my lips to myself. But what do we do for now?”

“Now we go into the nest and you both sit down, and I’m going to tell you exactly what you need to say so this doesn’t happen again,” Laserbeak said, pointing back toward the family nest. “March.”

Sunstreaker obeyed.

Sideswipe, with an audible sigh, followed.

****